I'll Be
by Rocks-my-socks
Summary: AU, fifth year.Severitus challenge. Petunia has kept a secret from an old friend and her nephew for a long time. It is about time they learnt the truth...
1. Old Friends Reunited

**Author note – Revised on 15****th**** July 2009**

**Disclaimer: None of the fantastic characters are mine. I bow down at the feet of J K Rowling. **

**I'll Be **

**Chapter 1 **

Harry James Potter was curious. Very curious indeed, though you would have thought he would have been more hungry and desperate to escape his family than anything - but to much had happened not to arose his curiosity. Every time he thought he was going to get food, it was taken from him. Not cruelly, he was sure. If the Dursley's wanted to tease him then they were going to do it out right. Silent torture was not their style. Since he had been home for two weeks he had barely seen his aunt. She was staying away from him, he was sure of it. He had seen much more of his uncle. He never normally saw more of his uncle than he did his aunt over summer, not that he wanted to see either really. He had barely seen Dudley either to come to think of it.

His visits from his uncle had not been pleasant either. Vernon seem to have decided verbal abuse was not enough this year. No, he had to start physically harming him too. Harry rolled over on his bed miserably. He just wanted to get out of there, as soon as he had figured where his aunt had was and why she was behaving the way she was. Of course it might be that she just couldn't be bothered with him straight out this year. But he didn't believe it. He didn't know why – it was a plausible story. But there was something more there... when he had seen her she had been so pale. He had been unable to believe it that she just couldn't give a damn. Something, somewhere in him, told him she did.

-

Downstairs, Petunia was in a hurry. She had to make it stop for not only herself, but her nephew too. Dudders was ok. Vernon was never going to harm him; because he was his precious heir but her and her nephew were nothing to him. Harry had never been but her, she was his pearl. Or she had been. Then he had just turned on her one day and now no matter what she did it was never good enough. She didn't know what had been the trigger for the change.

For her, to stay was not optional. She had too, she was his wife and that meant she _had_ too. She had sworn to God she was going to be loyal to him. No matter how bad things got. But her nephew... He had an option. It was about time she thought, he learnt of it.

-

When he had got the letter he had been so shocked, he had to say, as the two of them had not spoken it years. The fact she had written begging for his help told him something was badly wrong. He had never been able to refuse anything to her or her sister.

The Evans sisters in their day had been beautiful and Severus's one great weakness. And his biggest loss in the end.

So when the letter came, written in desperation he had had to go to her.

Petunia was in trouble. He just had too.

Going up to her house the day after he had got the letter, at the time she had asked him to arrive, he was most curious. What could this be about?, he questioned. They had nothing in common any more...

As he came to the door she opened it timidly. He had never thought of her as timid before.

"Hello old friend, come in." She said to him pleasantly but there were something about her. Something had changed.

"Petunia-"

"Say nothing. I have to be quick for there is someone here in need of your help more than I am." She said to him.

"Who?" he asked. Surely not the Potter boy…

"Your son."

There was a silent pause and he shook his head.

"I don't have a son, Petunia." he said but she seemed to disagree.

"You do and you have done for the past fifteen years." She spat the sentence out so fast that she could not change her mind and continue to withhold the information. "You have been teaching and mentoring him for the past four and you never knew. So now I think it is time I set the record straight for the both of you." she said as walked back through to the kitchen where she poured them both a cup of tea. He sat down as she spoke to him, too dumb struck to reply and she began her and her sister's tale of those last tragic days which taken their beautiful Lily from them both.

He had followed her into the kitchen unwillingly, for Severus did not know if he wished to hear whatever she had to say.

"As you know, a long time before she died, Lily and I fell out. James was never good enough for her." She said shuddering. "And I was angry with her. For hurting you."

"I never wanted you to be – your friendship would and should have lasted for ever." He said to her. On clear blue days when he looked down the lawn he swore he still saw their childhood ghosts running about Hogwarts together. Or there little bit of it.

"I know. But you were my _only_ friend. She had popularity, Gryffindor on her side. Whereas I was a plain Ravenclaw. You know that though. I remember. " she sighed as she shook her head.

"But you loved her, my friend, and I gave you both my blessing, and you begun dating my sister. You broke up and so did I and Lily. Our friendship went through the bad patch and I did something I regret most ardently. I left our world, and I never made a bigger mistake." She said as she shook her head at her own stupidity. She had loved it there when she had been a Ravenclaw, seeing the blue flag hung high in the Great Hall. It banners flowing as the owls swept down around them, the morning light dancing about them.

"Lily married James, and I married a mistake." he said. "And we both forget you, for a time. Well that's what I thought. She told me Severus, before she died, what happened. One night to end the passion was it?" she asked and he got hot under the collar as he realised what she was talking about. She looked disgusted. "I know. You made my sister an adulteress didn't you? You dishonoured her reputation if she had lived, and it had come out, well…. I am glad she didn't have to live through to hear her reputation spoiled. She was soft and had it come out as it is about too, she would ever had coped I don't think. She was brave but her reputation as a good girl it meant the world to her. She would not have survived the shame.

"And so nine months later she had a son. You must have done the math Severus, surely you thought…"

"That _my_ Lily would never lie to me? For that is what I did. If he had been mine she would have come to me…"

"No, think of how you were then Severus! Think of all the things you were doing. She would never have taken a child from safe, reliable James to be with a mad man. As you were then." She sighed. "On the night before she died, she left Godrics Hollow for an hour, just one. Did you know that?" he shook his head, unable to speak for the lump in his throat.

"She came to me and she begged for my help. I was no fool. And I knew how much trouble she was in. What it felt like to have to protect a son... In to my trust, she left two letters, only to be given to the receivers in dire circumstances, or when the time was right… both have come at once..." she said and on the coffee table he saw a presumably the two letters she had spoken of.

The top letter was for him.

"Read it if you have too, but it will only tell you what I have and Harry needs his father…"

It was a lot to take in but he nodded. What else could he do?

"Why Petunia? Why does he only need me so badly now? Why only tell me now? All this time I let another man and women raise my own son. My flesh and blood…" he muttered to himself.

"We haven't so much as raised him up as dragged him up." She said hating herself. "I have let some awful things come to pass, which in time I hope you can come to forgive me for. But now my husband has broken me. And I know the most important thing is getting him out of here while I still can." she said as she turned to the stairs and led him to Harry's room.

Last night things had got out of hands and Vernon's rage had scared her, for he had not finished his temper when he had left his nephew. She had been the one who had had to bare it to.

The drink…it changed him.

"Have you got your wand?" she asked.

"Of course," he said to her.

"You're going to need it."

As they got his room he saw why.

"You keep his door locked, surely not?" he asked.

"I didn't want too, I never wanted any of this." she said honestly. "You're going to have to open the door yourself. Vernon takes the keys to work with him."

The lock clicked open in a heartbeat once he had raised his wand. Going into the room where he knew Harry was, Snape felt nervous. The boy wasn't going to know who he was of course; not really, if he did then Petunia would have told him but he was nervous of what he was going to find. When went in he realised it had been with good reason.

The boy was shivering with cold on the bed yet he was too weak to get to his blanket by the looks of things. His bare skin was raw red. And there were marks, obviously made with a buckle all over Harry's back.

"How could you?" he growled at Petunia. Let this happen to his boy. To Lily's boy.

She let a tear slid down her face. She had been powerless to stop it. She had disposed of her wands years before hand. It hadn't been as if she hadn't _tried_ to calm Vernon. But every time she had tried he had got more and more angry with her and she had been so scared of him. So afraid...

"Don't you dare cry women; you have no right to tears." He said to her as he went over to the poor boy on the bed.

Taking the thin blanket in his own hands, Snape covered him. The boy. His son...He had to get him back too Hogwarts, but like this?

He couldn't heal him here though, that was the problem. He was going to have to wait.

"Not again..." moaned Harry as he was touched by the gentlest of hands in his dreams. He had thought it was the hand that had brought pain to him like no other, realised Snape. But in reality, it was the gentle loving touch of a father coming to comfort his boy at last…

The moment he had heard, the moment he knew, Severus had allowed himself to feel what he should have done for Lily's boy all along. A love as powerful as it was confusing. He had not felt like this in so long...

This was a boy who had been abused all of his life.

This was a boy just like him

"What have they done to you? What have I let happen you?" he whispered. He had seen Harry most days since he had come to Hogwarts. But he had been too blind to see what had been staring him in the face.

As he scoped him up in his arms, Harry moaned out arms. Snape felt such pity for the boy, even though he was not even worthy to give it to him. He was just going to have to accept it though. Right now, it was the only thing Snape had to offer, till the news sunk in. Till he could think straight.

Turning to Petunia he scowled.

"I am going to make sure you never see this boy again." He said to her threateningly before carrying his son down stairs. The boy was not yet fifteen and yet he had been through so much already.

Taking the package off of the table, he went out in to the garden and apparated, he had to get his son some help. And quick...

_Please Review!_


	2. To Hogwarts

**Author note – Revised on 15th July 2009**

Chapter 2

Snape apparated as near as he could Hogwarts without being in the grounds, he had to get to the infirmary as quick as he could. He had to save Pot – Harry – his boy. It was going to take some getting used to.

He had never felt such guilt. Indeed, it weighed him down. His stomach ached with it.

He should have been there all this time to protect the boy, not to pick on him. For god's sake, he was Harry's _father_. He should have been allowed to bring him up! How was it that he had never been there? Why had he never known?

And how dare she? After all this time, how dare she just call him to her house and drop it on him like this. Him, at the beck and call of her royal command! She had known since Harry had gone to her when he had been a baby. A baby in need of his father. And it wasn't as if she had never met Severus. They had been best friends! Very best friends!

Running up to the castle as fast as he was able to without making the ride to rough for the boy in his arms, he sighed. Harry's safety was absolute in his life from now on. As soon he let the news sink it in that was. He had a son!

Laying him in the bed at the hospital wing, he called Poppy, Minerva and Albus. They had to know what had happened.

"He has been severely abused, at the hands of his uncle." He told them.

"Just his uncle…." Asked Minerva, remembering how close he had been to Petunia when they had been young. He might bias and feel loyalty to her still. She had seen the way he had doted over not only Lily, but also her sister.

"I may have liked her well enough and been her friend when we were children, but I am not completely blind to that woman any longer." He drawled angrily. How could he cover for her when she had let this happen to Harry?

She was as devious as the rest.

"Very well Severus." said Dumbledore sighing. He could see it in the younger mans eyes. _He knew._

So she had gone through it, after all they had said to one another on the matter. He had never been against reuniting a father with his only son but Severus and Harry had their own lives and he had wanted to keep their focus on that. Severus was a spy. Harry, the Boy Who Lived. He had thought the truth was something they could do without.

Poppy, as soon as she could, was all over Harry like a rash checking on his bones and his sores, but there were so many. They were in for a long night.

By the time the examination was over, Minerva was in tears. She had always cared for the boy, ever since he had been at Hogwarts and to see him in such pain upset her. This was Harry. Star Quidditch player, devoted friend, Gryffindor's most famous student...

Severus, as soon as he knew the damage left the room to prepare himself for what he was going to say to the boy. Lily would have been so much better at this then he was. But it was her fault they were there in the first place.

Going into his own rooms, he sighed. That day had been a blast to the past if nothing else in more ways than one.

He had seen an old friend.

And he had gained a son. A son for crying out loud!

How was he meant to be a father to the boy after all this time of them hating one another? Harry was never going to accept him.

But perhaps he was prejudging Harry. And himself. Maybe giving each other a chance wouldn't be so bad or so impossible, however hard it might seem.

He had never given the boy chance. Not really and he knew it. He had been so fixated on keeping himself away from the child which had so strongly reminded him of his Lily that he had forgotten to see the good in Harry.

And there was some, there had to be. Not just anyone came through a beating like he had. Alive…

Never again was he going to see the boy like that. He was going to keep him safe.

He had always thought the boy was treated like a prince in his own home. Yet he had been _thinking_ of James, _seeing_ James. Not his son (or rather, _his_ son). And who could blame him? They had looked so alike; there had never been any cause to think that Harry might be his.

He had been so wrong.

Well that time was over. He had to be a father now. He couldn't let Lily down again.

-

Harry awoke to find himself not in the tiny room where he had been so scared. For a moment he thought he had died. Maybe it would be better that way. Then he and his dad and his mum could be a family at last.

But upon opening his eyes he saw it was not so. He was indeed back home. He was _really_ home. He was at Hogwarts. The infirmary was after all, familiar to him.

For a moment, he felt a bit disappointed, but then it passed, ever so slowly, and he readjusted himself.

So did this mean he was not going to be hurt anymore? Did this mean things were going to get back to normal? He hoped so. Maybe now he was going to be allowed to go stay with Sirius for the rest of the summer. He smiled at the thought. Or maybe he could meet up with Ron and Hermione...

He felt a happy glow when he remembered his best friends who had always been so loyal to him. It'd be good to see them again. There had been a time... just for a moment... He hadn't thought he ever would.

Moaning out as he tried to painfully hoist himself up to a sitting position he realised he may be home but he was certainly not himself. He just wished the last two weeks hand happened.

What if he wasn't allowed to see his friends? What if he had to go back… wild thoughts sprung in his mind.

Looking about him he saw he was the only patient on the ward. Not so surprising considering the school was closed right now. He was glad. The last thing he needed was every one looking at him right now. He reached for his glasses, which had been placed on his bedside table and put them on.

Looking across at the bed side cabinet the saw a letter. Taking it in his hands, he read whom it was address to. Himself.

Part of him didn't want to open it though. What if he wasn't allowed? What if he was going to be beaten again?

Perhaps he should just wait for…

"My dear boy, I am glad to see you have awoken." A soft voice said but it made him jump out of his skin. Dumbledore sighed with pity for the boy. His mental state appeared to be affected by everything which had happened and who could blame him if it was? He had had to watch the monster who had killed his mother return to life, then he had had to deal with a vicious beating…time and time again... they still didn't know the true extent of the damage.

"How do you feel?"

"I don't think I do yet, sir." He said honestly. "I am a bit numb all over." He said and let out a sigh. He could take battling the Dark Lord in the grave yard but put him up against a muggle and he had not been able to fight back. His uncle's sheer weight had been terrifying.

Every blow… Harry winced at the mere memory.

"I'm sure. I can't express how sorry I am to you Harry. For not seeing it sooner." He said to him. Dumbledore settled himself by the bed, observing Harry through his half moon glasses.

"I didn't say and it only begun this summer really. It's no one's fault. But how did … who? I don't remember getting here or anything."

"No, your rescuer said you slept a lot of the way. He was concerned for you." The old head master said to him with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Was it Sirius?" asked Harry hopefully. "It was, wasn't it?" Was his godfather at Hogwarts, he wondered hopefully. Were they soon to be reunited?

"I am afraid not Harry. Someone a lot less obvious perhaps, though there name begins with a 'S'." he admitted.

Harry looked confused for a moment before it dawned on him.

"Professor Snape…but why would he?" Harry asked.

"Because an old friend called for his assistance." Dumbledore told him. "Open the letter. It shall answer a lot of questions for you and perhaps for myself. I have started the jigsaw Harry, but there are still a lot of pieces missing."

Doing as his was told; he opened the envelope gentle and begun reading. The paper was thick, rich and the ink on it looked expensive…

_My darling sweet Harry, _

_This may be every mother's nightmare, having to write a letter of this context and it is my deepest regret that this has fallen to me to write. But it has. And so I will.  
I'm looking at you in your crib. I can't help thinking how very beautiful you are and I know I always will think like that. Because you are my boy. But you are also very like your father. Perhaps you think I speak, or write as it were, of James, but I do not. Harry, he isn't your daddy.  
Another man is (I guess you worked that out). He is a good man; deep down I know he is. I have seen it. So has your Auntie Petunia, but I don't know how well you are going to get to know her. You may never have to. Maybe me, you and James will never be separated. That'd be perfect. Then you are never going to have to read of my betrayal.  
But maybe you will… I don't know yet. Everything, my love, is so unclear to me still. I hate the word 'maybe'.  
Your father, your true daddy was always my greatest strength. But also my greatest weakness. Put us together and it was like fire. We had such a strong bond Harry…  
He has many faults. But I love them about him too…  
If you are reading this then you have to know his identity. His name is Severus Snape…_

That was as far as Harry got before his tear covered face turned from the letter. It couldn't be true, she _had_ to be lying. He couldn't face any more. He didn't want to know any more…

Severus was in his rooms trying to figure out what to do for the best. Did he go to the boy or let him deal with it on his own? God knows where his head was right now.

Probably the same place Severus' own was.

Going over to the cupboard he got out the fire whiskey and poured himself a glass.

Just to steady his nerves ...

But wasn't that the excuse his own father had used when he had wanted a glass? And look where it had got him.

Snape poured it from the glass of what might have been soothing liquor down the sink. He couldn't drink… not in these circumstances - when he was needed with as clear head.

He was a dad now. A father. He had to be at the top of his game all of the time. No more drinking, no more snide remarks (that was going to be hard) - Most important of all, no more Dark Lord.

He was going to go to Dumbledore. Tell him he was through spying.

Just as soon as he had seen the boy.

Harry had been lying on his bed trying to take it all in when the door had opened. He didn't know what he wanted from his father. He hadn't been able to read the rest of the letter yet. The one thing he did want was a friend.

Hermione or Ron, or maybe Hagrid to talk in through with. But they were going to be bias. Tell him Snape was good for nothing and to forget him. But he couldn't. Cause he was his dad now. They had a bond. A blood bond.

Turning to the door he watched as Snape walked in. The last person he wanted to see…yet...

This was it, he realised. Their first 'big' meeting. Snape looked as uncomfortable as he felt. They were both out there safety zones. There was nothing familiar about this territory.

They sat there in silence for five minutes before Snape was unable to take the quiet. This intolerable silence had to be broken.

"How do you feel?"

"Numb, inside and out. You know …. I presume." He said but then suddenly realising how, arrogant that had sounded? What if Snape hit him ... what if he didn't... what if?

"I found out when I saw your aunt." He said to Harry thinking the boy had every right to be so angry. He had been through enough this summer and they were only two weeks in to it. The boy was so tense... it was as if he was waiting for something...

"How is she? I mean I hardly saw her this summer. Something seemed up with her."

"I didn't get that far. She told me and then I came straight up to you." Said Snape and Harry nodded. Quite frankly, Severus was amazed that he could still show concern for her after everything that had happened. Truly, he was his mother's son.

"Thanks for that… I mean for bringing me back here… you didn't have too… in fact if someone had asked me I would have laid money on you leaving me there. Getting me out of your hair at last."

"Harry, what was I meant to do? You're my…my…" he said, shocked the boy would judge him so harshly, but then not so surprised. His behaviour towards him had never been that of a kind mentor.

"Son… that's the word you're looking for." Said Harry.

Snape smirked gravely- he had his sense of humour still it seemed.

"Did you have no idea till she told you?" Asked Harry.

"Not a clue."

Part of Harry wanted to scream and shout at the professor, but he couldn't. Because he realised he had been as helpless in all this as he had been. It was in his eyes. Snape wasn't lying to him.

And he had always wanted a father. Just never him! Not this father! The biggest greasy git in the world. The man who had terrorised him throughout his Hogwarts career. He didn't want him as a father. But, then he was the only one he had. And now somehow he already knew they were going to have to overcome their differences. Because everything he had ever wanted was now a possibility.

Family.

So many conflicting emotions raced through him.

"Do you want a – some sort of – relationship with me Harry?" Snape asked. If Harry had any sense, Severus thought, he would say no. All he ever did was hurt people.

"I don't know yet. It's too early." He said as he avoided Snape's eyes. He couldn't look into the eyes of his own father.

_Please Review!_


	3. A Father's Plea

**Revised – 16****th**** July 2009 **

**Warning:** Slight cutting in this chapter. Not much and not graphic.

Chapter 3

Harry woke the next morning to be shocked by the fact he had had any sleep to begin with. He had just thought he was going to lay there all night considering his next move. His father had made it clear to him the ball was in his court and no matter what he wanted to do next was fine with Severus. He didn't want to rush in to anything, or to pressure him. For once, he wanted him to be in control of his own life. And he was.

But Harry did not know who or what he wanted – he wasn't sure he ever would again.

All he knew was that Severus Snape had never been it till now. He didn't want him. It was just an option that wasn't Uncle Vernon. And anything, anyone was better than Uncle Vernon. In Harry's confused and slightly warped mind, his uncle made Voldemort look positively cuddly.

His thoughts strayed to his aunt as he tried to remember her as she had been the summer before to compare her to this time but it didn't work. He couldn't remember...

What had been up with her?

Painfully, he managed to rise himself so he was sitting up and he got the attention as her did so of Poppy Pomfrey.

She looked at him pitifully.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she headed over to him. "You had a lucky escape Potter."

Then it hit him. He wasn't Harry Potter, was he? He didn't know what his last name was. Lie, he did know - it was Snape, definitely not Potter.

"A little better." He said to her, noticing her cringe at what she had said. But he didn't. He felt better physically but worse mentally. He just wanted it all to go away. Every time he shut his eyes he saw Lily, James, Petunias pale face, Severus' gaze on _his_ burning hot face, Vernon's hand rising…

"Good. Would you like food?"

If he had been over that forty eight hours before, he would have bit her hand off then and there but he shook his head.

If he ate then he was only going to bring it back up. The last thing he needed was his throat to be any sorer than it already was.

"Very well for now, but later in the day we may have to try something. You need substance Harry." she said as she looked at him severely. When he said nothing she wondered back off to her office. He was never going to get through this one, he thought to himself.

The first visitor he had that day was Dumbledore.

Looking at the aging professor, he shut his eyes. He didn't know what to do, and this time Dumbledore was going to give him no answers. The decision had to come form his own heart and he knew it.

"Do you want to write to any one, or for me to contact any one? Hermione or Ron, maybe even Sirius?" he asked but Harry shook head.

The first two, well it wouldn't be fair to make them see him in the state he was, with bruises and bumps all over himself; and Sirius was never going to accept him as his god son again. He wasn't James's son any more. He wasn't marauder any more. Or their heir any way. He was the Snape heir. Snape, who was Sirius' enemy.

"Then perhaps you should try to read your mothers letter and finish it?" Dumbledore asked as he lifted it from where it had been abandoned the day before.

Harry nodded. The least he could do when she had clearly laboured so long over it was read it. He continued where he had left off.

_For all his sins Severus is a good man and he treats me right or he did when we were together. The point is my darling, I know at the end of the day, if the worst comes to pass that you have to learn the truth and you find out who he is in relation to you, I know he can be trusted. And you should know that too._

_  
If things had been different the three of us would have been a wonderful family, I am so sure. He has the ability to be a father, not that he will never admit it. Harry you have to find the father in him. It is something only you can do. _

_  
If you are still reading, then my advice to you my Harry is to break the shell he hides himself in. He isn't good with feelings. Try to be his son if you can because I think if you need him then he needs you too._

_  
If I hurt you honey, it was never what I wanted. I'm so sorry I am living this lie Harry._

But sometimes the heart does things it cannot explain.

The one thing I do know is I love you with every inch of love this heart – my heart,

_Mummy xxx_

When Harry finished the letter, he found in his grief for the mother he had never known his hands had begun shaking and his heart as aching.

For the first time in his life, it was as if he had spoken to his mum properly and it was an emotional moment for the young teenager who had been through so much of late. She loved him! She had loved him!

"Sir?" he said to Dumbledore.

"Yes Harry…."

"I know this sounds something really babyish, but I want mum." He admitted. "I need her so much right now. I need her to tell me my next move." He said to him.

Taking the letter, he looked meaningfully at the boy as if he was asking to read it and Harry nodded, understanding what he was saying.

As Dumbledore finished the letter, he smiled sadly at Harry.

"I do believe my dear boy, she already has."

It was lunch when Severus made his way up to the hospital wing to see Harry. He had been trying to do marking all day but he had been failing miserably. He had just been thinking of Harry and his Lily flower all the time. When they had been young and together they had been so happy.... memories of her had interrupted his sleep the night before, and now in the waking day she pervaded his body.

Her letter to him was very precious and he was had put it away for safe keeping. It was one of the last things he had from her. He was still unable to believe he had a chance at fatherhood and even more in disbelief that he wanted to take it. He had never felt so strongly before over a child.

Then again no other had ever been his.

Severus Snape paternal? Whatever was the world coming too?

The nearest he had come to this before was with Draco Malfoy, who was his godson and beloved by him, but he wasn't his. He was Narcissa and Lucius'. He had thought that was the nearest thing he was getting to be a dad.

And now he had a child of his own.

Sitting by Harry, he didn't know what to say. To ask him how he felt was a stupid question. It was pretty obvious.

"I finished reading my mum's letter." Harry said, as he made the first move.

"Did you? What did she have to say?" he asked. Any message from Lily was welcome to him.

"That I should do the one thing I never have done."

"And what's that Harry?" he asked.

"Trust you."

Severus shut his eyes in pain. Ouch.

"I guess I deserve that." He said to him.

"But it is what mum would have wanted for me now." Harry admitted. Inside it was tearing him apart, though saying all this out loud lessened the pain.

He wanted to shout out that this had to be all lies and that Snape was a git and James was his real dad. But it wasn't so.

His thoughts paused on James.

To have died for a baby who was not his own…that had to be hard. All the photos he had seen of them together, James had always been beaming at him.

"Did he ever know?" he asked, Severus as if he was meant to know whom he was talking about.

"Who?"

"Da- James. Did he ever know you were my father?" He asked.

"Lily said in her letter to me no. She said it was better if he didn't."

"One minute we - if I look so much like him, how? How am I yours?"

"Next time I come I shall bring some of your mother's letter to me so you may find the answers to your queries."

"Why not all of it?"

"Because some of it – well it is a personal and intimate letter Harry and I do not believe your mother would have wanted your eyes to see it." Severus replied as he sat by the boy's bed side.

"And why should we respect anything she wants? As far as I can see she is the one who got us in to this mess." Said Harry, letting some of his frustration out.

"Because that is what we do Harry. We respect the dead and their wishes as they can no longer voice them as they change."

"And if she had not died? If this had all come out and she was with us still?" said Harry. He was sure he had never missed her as much as he had in the past two days, but he was also angry with her. Severus noted he had just referred to the two of them as an 'us'. A positive sign? Perhaps...

"Then the case would have been very different obviously." mused Severus. Gods knows what would have happened if she was here. All hell would have broken lose.

"I wish she was."

"Me too," nodded Severus, "me too."

"Severus, I am afraid it is time for you to go." Said Pomfrey, as she came over, relieving Harry. He had not been upset by the visit any more than he had been already, but he could do with the time alone to work out what was going on in his head.

"I will see you tomorrow Harry, I promise," said Severus. He felt as if he should make some sort of physical gesture to the boy to show the growing affection he felt for him, but he knew it was too soon. The boy had to get use to the fact that they had a blood bond first.

He got up, and without looking back, left the hospital wing.

-

It was the middle of the night, and Harry was tossing and turning in bed, uncomfortable as sweat poured down his face.

Sleep was no comfort for him, not any more. The previous night he had been too tired to even move but now he had had a chance to try and get his energy back he did something he didn't want too.

Dream.

He was stuck between fantasy and reality where Voldemort and Vernon were both coming from him from different directions, but Lily was there and she was holding him tight to her and she was promising him it was all lies, just as he wanted her too.

Severus wasn't his dad, James was and the dream was going to end and the three of them then might go away together, where no one was going to find them. Especially Snape.

But then it all went wrong for him.

Lily was trying to cling to him but she was being torn away and he had no way to keep her with him. And then he was an open target for his too greatest enemies.

But there was something by him. A knife. Voldemort and Vernon were giving it to him.

_End it before they do… don't give them the satisfaction of having you beg for mercy._

He raised it to his arms and struck down on it…again…and again…and for a third time.

Harry awoke in pain. The dream which had been so vivid had somehow turned to an awful reality and his arms were covered in his blood.

He found something had woken him and was holding him from hurting himself. The figure was crying, begging him to stop.

"God damn it boy, don't you dare. You're needed, and you're loved, so don't you dare leave me now!"

He came to realise it was his father begging with him to stop, holding him, trying to keep him from harm. Severus, who had just been coming to check on him, to watch the boy sleep, was now alarmed, crying, desperately trying to protect Harry.

"I love you, I need you Harry! This is my one chance to get it right. Don't take that away from me. Please don't take yourself from me! I will not let you do this!"

_Review please!_


	4. Home At Last?

**Revised – July 20****th**** 2009 **

**Chapter 4**

Harry awoke to the awful memory of the night before when he had tried to put a stop to it all. He had just been so low. He hadn't wanted to let them get to him again. If it had to be over, then he would go on his own terms.

Shutting his eyes, he sighed. He wished Severus had not been the one to catch him. It was so embarrassing that he had been so darn weak. If only it had been any one but him...

Harry had been begged to stop by him that was all he knew. Harry hadn't said a word as he was patched up by Pomfrey. His dad must have stayed by him till he had gone to sleep as he didn't remember him leaving the night before.

So now, as well as everything else, he had to wait for his arms to heal too.

Wonderful. Just bloody wonderful.

"Harry," said Pomfrey careful obviously not wanting to upset him any more then he had been. "Why don't you try and get some porridge down this morning?

It might help you get some of your strength back." She suggested.

But Harry didn't feel as if he was ever going to get strong again. He didn't know if he wanted to be. He had had to be strong it was for a reason, and that reason was to fight. He didn't want to fight. He was sick of it.

As she stood with him in silence, the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Snape. He didn't look like he had had a lot of sleep. Welcome to parenthood, thought Harry sarcastically.

"Maybe you can do better with the boy than I can, because I can't get through to him." said the nurse.

Snape nodded, but said nothing. He was furious with the nurse deep down, and he didn't think her capable of looking after his son, who needed care so much right now. Not negligence. Why had she left the knife so close to him? It had to be her.

Sitting by his son as he had the day before, Snape decided it was his turn to make the first move.

"I meant what I said to you last night before. You are loved Harry. A lot of people would be devastated if they lost you… me included." he admitted.

"Sir with all due respect, you have known I am your son for all of two days. I don't think that makes you my dad."

"No, you're right Pot - Harry it doesn't. However it does make me your father. I want to be your dad, if you would allow it. God knows I am no good at begging, but if that is what it takes, I shall. Harry I want you to come down to my apartments today. We can't do this with just an hour a day together," sighed Severus. "Dumbledore told me today that tomorrow Pomfrey leaves for her own break. You can come to me, or apparently your godfather can take you," he said. "The choice is yours."

"Can I think on it?" asked Harry.

"Of course you can. It is up to you. I don't want to rush you in to anything."

Snape was lying through his teeth though.

If Harry didn't choose him he knew he was going to be a broken man. He hadn't offered a place to any one in his life like this since he had met the beautiful Evans sisters. There had been a time Lily and Petunia had dominated him. He had sworn no one would do that to him again.

And Harry wouldn't…but he would never stop missing him if he didn't return with him.

Why should the boy choose him? He had never shown him kindness, and he had never regretted it more. But the thought of Harry playing happy families with that mongrel disgusted him. No the last thing he wanted to do was for Harry to choose Black over him.

---

Dumbledore looked at Harry with curiosity. He would have thought the boy would have jumped at the chance to have a dad. But then again he and Snape had never got on. But on the other hand, it meant he would have family. There were too many conflicting emotions in the boys head.

"Could I go see Sirius?" asked Harry as if he didn't believe it.

"If that is what you want then, yes, Harry it is most certainly an open option for you." Said the aging had master.

"Last night… when Snape saved me… he said I was loved, and then something else but I can't remember it. I kinda guess that I've blocked it out… do you that think I'm loved… by, well, him?" asked Harry trying to ask the awkward question.

"Harry I am not going to lie to you, my dear boy. I don't know. But I think if you stayed together then yes, He would grow fond of you. Very fond indeed."

Harry was so thoughtful. Albus had never seen the boy like this before.

"Do I owe it to my mum to try and get on with him?" he asked. Lily was becoming such a weight on his mind in all of this.

"Some might say so Harry, but I do not believe you do. You owe it only to yourself to try and make this work with your father. And he is you father. Isn't that what you have wanted for so long?"

"Perhaps. But not with him. I'd want my father to be Sirius, or professor Lupin would make an amazing father, or James. I want James. I miss him. I never knew him, but I know that I miss him."

"I think were ever he is, he misses you too. He was very affectionate with you. He embraced you as his son."

"He never knew any better. To him, I was his son. We would have got on, I think."

"No doubt. Lily had a strong love for him and I am sure he would have loved to teach you and help you grow."

"But he's gone." Sighed Harry. He had to make this choice based on what he wanted. Not on what anyone else wanted.

"Does he have any other family?" asked Harry.

"Who, James?"

"No – Snape - professor – dad," he said. He didn't know what to call him and when he had said dad it hadn't sounded right. Not yet. He wasn't sure it ever was going too.

"No, he does not. Some might say he has none since he lost your mother."

"But – his parents?"

"Severus father was never a 'dad' to him Harry, not in the true sense of the word, and his mother succumbed to her husband through fear. He has never known much love."

Harry's mind was spinning. It sounded like he and Severus had had a similar upbringing. Who would have thought the two of them would have had anything common.

"I want to yell at him and hate him, but it's getting harder sir. He and I– we're not the same people we were when I got here …" he said.

"No. But is that a bad thing Harry?"

-

Severus was nervous. He knew this was it. Harry was going to give him the answer to whether he wanted to be with him or not. It was as if he was asking whether or not Harry would like to be his son or not. He was always going to be that now regardless. But...

Lily would have it so that her boys were together, he knew she would. But she held no leverage in this decision. Her spirit was all around, he felt it in this time of trouble. She was in the laboratory trying to tell him how to be a father, she was helping get her son's breakfast ready and hoping that he ate it, she was sitting with him loyally as he watched Harry sleep at night.

She was everywhere.

Going in to the hospital wing, he sneered at Poppy for her mistake. Why would she leave a knife by the boy as he slept?

Harry himself looked more peaceful as he got to him, in fact more so than he had since he had arrived.

He had come to a decision. The boy knew just what he was going to do.

"Are you sure don't mind me coming with you?" Harry owed it to himself to have a father. Every other boy did his age. And so why shouldn't he? Severus had given him life. And it was time they shared it together. He needed a dad, now more than ever. He would be mad to turn it down.

"Harry that is what I want, more than anything I remember in my life," he said.

No way was he rejecting his lad.

"Can I come now? I am getting sick of these four walls," he said to him.

"Of course," said Severus as he took a blanket and wrapped Harry in it.

"This might be a bit painful but as soon as we get back to the flat I can make you more comfortable then you are here, with any luck." He said and Harry nodded.

Severus had been right. The journey to the flat was painful and Harry winced in his arms more than once. He wished he could walk but they both knew it was brought hope yet. He had to recover first.

As soon as they got there Harry was laid on the sofa to rest some more, and look around his new - home? Did he at last have a real home?

Yeah… "I think I do." He whispered to himself. It felt rather strange…unfamiliar. But good strange. He would adjust. He had to, and more than that, he wanted to.

Severus's apartments were as Harry had thought they were going to be all dark and dreary. But, they were like any other persons.

True, there were more dark shades than light, however it was nice. And in a way liked it. They smelt of strange concoctions (he presumed from whatever his father had been brewing) and the small fire in the corner warmed it, not that it really needed it in the middle of summer, though.

But Harry liked it, his father's apartment.

"I really think you should try to eat something, Harry," said Snape as he came out the kitchen. "Here's some chicken soup and bread. Please try Harry." he said to the boy.

Harry nodded. He was hungry and it did smell better than the porridge, which when he had tried it had been so tasteless that he just couldn't eat it.

"Do what so you think? You going to be ok here?" asked Snape as Harry looked about and nodded.

"It's going to take time, but it think so, sir."

"Please Harry. Call me Severus, Sev if you want, until you're ready to call me – until I earn the title dad. But no more sir, or professor unless we are in class," he said to him.

Harry nodded again. He had hoped that this was going to come soon, and was looking forward to it. Him, having a dad! All to himself. It was a strange kind of fairy tale ending, not how he planned it. But when were things ever like he planned?

"This is awkward." Said Harry as silence over took them, whilst thinking 'Understatement of the year here'.

"No, it isn't Harry. It is just unfamiliar. We're going to have to talk about things, but not today. We can leave that until we know one another a bit better," said Severus reassuringly as he watched his son lay back on the couch as he finished his soap and shut his eyes.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah, a bit," admitted Harry.

"Then have a sleep," Severus told him.

"Are you sure - I mean uncle Vernon used to say it was lazy of me to sleep in the day. I can't do a lot but as soon as I am better I can help out round the place –"

"Harry, Harry, no. You get better, and you become a child. You're not working here boy." Severus growled a little harshly and as he saw Harry's eyes flash with fear he calmed himself. This was not time to be scaring the boy.

"Are you sure?"

"Harry, we have house elves and you are not one of them. So take a bit of sleep, recover your strength and then perhaps- we can start enjoying our summer break?"

Severus watched Harry till the boy fell into dreams, and he was glad of that fact… he hadn't known how it was to have a parent watch over you till that point in his life. His dad said he was going to be a child. And somehow that excited him. He then realized this could be a positive thing, because his dad was Snape. They were going to have to be together all the time through the school year. They were going to catch up on all the lost time.

Severus smiled at his son as he got to sleep at long last. His child was at peace, and he was safe and Snape was going to be his carer till he was well, then the two of them were going to be father and child as they always should have been. Things were looking up for him.

Severus went in to the kitchen after a while to do bit of clearing up; not only but he was going to put the finishing touches to his child's room.

As he stood there peacefully he heard something.

It was Harry.

He was crying in his dreams, and then he let out almighty cry of pain.

Running in to the living room, Severus was shocked to see Harry had the knife again! And he hadn't left anything near him, Severus had checked. No knife had been in the room.

Harry was going to slash down on himself with something. And he did, his arm bleed again.

Severus rushed to his son's side and took his hands which were fighting against him.

Wrenching them open and fighting against a severely distressed Harry, Snape took it, the object was hard and cold, Snape cut his own hand on it, but it was invisible. Whatever it was...

Throwing it aside his attention and love turned wholly on his child, whose scar had burst open.

It was then Harry woke and through his arms round his dad, begging for protection. And there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that Snape wasn't going to provide it.

Please review!


	5. Talking

**Revised – 27****th**** July 2009**

Chapter 5: Talking

Later that evening, Harry found himself still wrapped in his dads' arms. That incident, no matter how terrible it was, had brought them together, and Snape wasn't letting go...

And Harry liked it, or he had at first. When he had first been taken into his dads, he had realised this was what it was like to have a parent – and more than that, one who cared whether you lived or died. It was simply as glorious feeling. But as time wore on, it began to feel awkward.

He sort of liked the comfort of the love his dad was providing. He had never known this kind of thing before. It was warm, endearing, and nothing but heartfelt. There was no fake love there; Harry knew that when Severus said he loved him that he had been telling the truth.

"How do you feel little one?" asked Severus.

Little one… 'I'm not that little', he thought to himself, but his dad's voice was so that laced with affection that he just let it go. A week had brought them so close; it wasn't even that long yet. But he knew Severus was to be trusted...even if he was still not that comfortable with trusting him. His mother would not have put him in danger for anything he knew that. And she had asked him to rust his father. So he would.

"Tired." admitted Harry.

But he was by no means ready for bed; in fact, he thought he could stay there for days in the comforting arms of his dad, despite the awkwardness. Severus was more than willing to let him. He found that to hold his own child at last was to be on top of the world. Even if Harry's tense body begun to tell him it had gone on long enough for one day.

"You must be. What happened? You were dreaming. You have to tell me, or else I cannot help you."

"But - I don't want to – not yet." begged the fifteen year old who was scared stiff.

"If I thought waiting till morning was going to help, I would let you." said Snape.

Harry only nodded into his fathers' chest. Somehow he knew Snape had only his best interests at heart, and he had to be open or they were never going to work out as father and son. They were a family, and families talked to each other...or at least real families did. Like the Weasley's… eventually, hopefully. But Snape's pressing now was annoying Harry slightly. This was happening far too soon.

"I was in some sort of chamber with mum and James. They were there and said perhaps now they were there we could be together. Like a family. I didn't know what I wanted. So many things are going through my head. I don't know where I want to be. But when I was in that dream, they seemed like an option." said Harry, his dads' hold tightening on him. It did seem Severus was frightfully scared of losing him so soon, when they hadn't even scratched the surface of their relationship yet. "But then they came. They took them away from me; I tried to hold on to her." He said in to his dad, keeping a firm hold on the only one to show him real parental affection ever.

"Who are they Harry? Please tell me…"

"Vernon and – Voldemort. But I didn't even want to go with mum and James. I like it here." Said Harry as he held Severus and a tear fell down his cheek.

When he was lying there in his dad's arms it was hard to believe he had ever had another life. Here was so clearly where he belonged.

There wasn't mystery over who he was any more. He didn't have to wonder, he had some facts.

"I don't ever have to go back, do I?" he asked. "To my uncle and aunts?"

"No, I assure you Harry, you are not going back. Not ever."  
----

"I am sorry that I accused Poppy of negligence." said Snape to Dumbledore. "There is sure as hell something going on here-I just wish I knew what!"

"Well then we are going to have to work it out my boy. But I think for now, we have to come up with short term solution for your son's safety and well being."

"Already done, for tonight at least - dreamless sleep potion. It isn't going to last of course, I can't give it to him for long, I don't want the boy dependent on the stuff to get a good night's sleep, but for the next week I think that's my best plan, my only plan." He really wasn't sure as to what else to do.

"I think your right on that one. Well done, my boy. You're coping well. Many other men would have rejected Harry by now, not been able to cope with fatherhood."

"Many other men never had Lily's child as their son." said Severus quietly.

"So, Severus is this for her memory, or for you to help your son?" questioned the headmaster.

"No, I have to try and get rid of complications in my life." Harry was a big enough one on his own, he had to try and clear time for him, and for himself he had to rid of all hiding places. No where he could go to simply forget what had happened over the past week, or fall back in to his own ways. There was no room for mistakes now.

"Which is why you have taken your services as chief spy from the Order?" asked Dumbledore.

"I can't spy now, because for the first time I have some thing that matters to me more than my own sorry ass." growled Severus, "Harry needs me, so I must be there for him above all others. Don't you see that I finally have something worth living for?"

"You'll do well to keep that attitude my boy. For now that will serve you best…" mused Dumbledore. "But perhaps it is time we looked to other ways to get Harry on his feet once more. Gather another form of strength for him."

"What do you mean?" asked Snape curious.

"Call one of his friends to Hogwarts give them chance to start bringing the Harry they know back to life." He gave Snape the idea.

"Maybe." Said Snape. He couldn't stand the thought of sharing his summer with Granger or Weasley, but if it was good for his son…

"Very well. You should arrange it as you think is best now. You are going to know your son best in the near future, so just spend time together. Reassure him." The aging wizard advised.

"I will, Albus." said Snape as he saw Albus to the door.

As soon as he was gone Severus went in to the room he had set aside for Harry's use to check on him.

The room was a nice shade of navy blue, and it smelt strongly of fire wood from the living room. The carpet on the floor matched the walls, and on one wall there was a relatively small window, that still gave an excellent view of Hogwarts.

In the corner there was a big wooden desk were Harry was going to be able to study throughout the year if he choose to. Above it there was a book shelf filled with Harry's school supply's which Dumbledore himself had retrieved.

He should have liked to see Petunia again now he had calmed, but he had no need to now, and Harry was his priority.

-  
-Early that day… the Dursley household-

"You have nothing to fear. Neither of them are ever going to want to touch me again. I think I have caused them both enough pain." Petunia said to Dumbledore.

"Why now though, that's what I want to know, we had it sorted."

"No, you had it sorted, Albus, I carried around a secret that was destroying me. To see Harry in that much pain was more than I was going to be able to live with. Now he's with Severus and all that's over, he has proper protection all the time. I can trust him. My sisters son is safe." said Petunia.

"And the Order, where does it leave us?"

"I don't know, Albus, but that is no longer my priority…"

-  
"A friend? I don't know Severus...not yet...I don't want them to see me like this, not yet..." said Harry as he sat up in bed. So it was back to Severus. Last night when he had called him 'dad' had simply been a slip of the tongue. And it wasn't that he didn't want Severus to be his dad...it was just too soon. But the potions master seemed to understand. There was a lot that they both had to sort through in their own minds.

"Then why don't you ask the girl to come next week. You'll be up and about then, I should imagine, and I am going to have to do some work. She can be a bit of company, and Mr. Weasley as well, if you wish."

"No, no, not Ron, I don't want him knowing about everything before Hermione, she is going to be the more acceptant of all of what has gone on. She can give me some advice on how to break it to him."

"No, I guess he is not going to be best pleased that his best friend is the son of his most hated teacher."

"They're going to come round to you. I did, didn't I? And mum did too. There's no reason in the world why they can't if things go slow." Said Harry trying to convince himself. He had to believe he could have a family and his friends.

"Maybe, but it was your mother's love that brought you round and it is only because you are my child that we are talking." he said.

"I know but… we'll see..." He said as he shut his eyes tiredly.

"You're going to be fine Harry, and your friends will too. When you wake you can write to whomever you wish. Before you sleep though, I want you to take dreamless sleep drought again." He said as he lifted the glass bottle to his sons lips which latch on quickly.

"Sleep well." Said Severus.

"Night…"

-

Over the next week, Harry and Severus set about establishing their feelings for one another. Harry didn't I know how to describe it except that it felt good to have someone he knew was going to be there no matter what. But still a little uncertainty. There was no way to prepare himself for this and he found he was looking forward to Hermione's visits as it gave him a chance to escape his dad. By no means was Snape a wonderfully knowledgeable father yet and his actions though best meant sometimes didn't come out that way. They would blunder on as they were though.

"What was she like?" asked Harry as he sat on the sofa. This was the first day he had been dressed and up since he had arrived. It had been rather embarrassing having to ask his dad to help him. He wished he hadn't had too.

Over the past few days, they had been trying to talk to one another… they had spoken so far of Harry's childhood, of Snape's relationship with his aunt. He was shocked how close they must have been. They had spent summers together and everything, as he had with Ron. She had to be as close to him, as Harry was to Hermione.

"What was who like?" he asked. This was the topic he had really wanted to discuss with his dad. His mum.

"Mum. What was Lily like?" he asked curiously.

For a moment Snape was annoyed at Harry for asking. It seemed so personal to him, his relationship with Lily, however at the thought of her, his face betrayed is feelings. Severus gave another of his smiles, which Harry knew by now were few and far in between.

"She was absolutely beautiful, gentle, kind hearted and brutally honest. What you must understand is that when she wrote her letter to you she was scared and she had a lot on her mind. They are not the acts I judge Lily on, and neither should they be the ones you do." Said his father both firmly and decisively.

"I won't. She did a lot of good when she was alive, didn't she?" he asked.

"And in death also. Your mother was a wonderful women Harry. She didn't deserve the end she got." Severus mussed.

"Did you – love – her? Were you in love with her?" he asked.

"For a time yes. It was in our sixth year. We thought being a Slytherin and Gryffindor just made it more romantic. She used to call us Romeo and Julie." He laughed.

"Juliet, Severus. Romeo and Juliet."

"That's the one. My knowledge of muggle playwright's isn't wonderful, as you can tell. But she loved them, I know her favourite author though. Jane Austen's works were her favourite. I still have her copy of one of them." He said mournfully. He had never got over the loss of his Lily-flower. "One of the few things I could save when I got to the house. You were gone, so was she by that time. I never got to say my good-byes." as he said that, and Harry realised how distressed the conversation was getting his father. Snape never had to open up to him before. He had never had to open up to anyone, and so he simply hadn't. Now, he was struggling with it. But there were a lot of things they had to talk about that were going to upset them both.

"That makes two of us." Nodded Harry. "Do you ever – have you ever blamed me for losing her? 'Cause I have. Blamed myself, I mean. If I hadn't been born-"

"Then my life wouldn't be worth half as much as it is now. To answer your question, I did, once upon a time." He regretted it, but he knew he had to be honest with Harry. They had to be as open as the leaves of a book to one another. "But I can see now you were a baby. And you could have done nothing to save her. You carry a heavy weight Harry. Don't carry the weight of the dead son." Severus said.

"I wish - I wish- somehow we could change what happened to mum and James. Make it so we could all be here."

"Those thoughts will drive you crazy Harry. Take it from one who knows. We have each other so let's be grateful for where our good fortunes come from. I have a feeling there going to be slow and few in between when they come from now. But this summer will be the one that changes our life from now on." he said and Harry nodded. It was nice to talk like this to someone. It had been very good to talk.

_Author note: Thanks again to Lena Andromeda Black for beta'ing. You're awesome. _

_Ok guys how do think its going? Are Severus and Harry moving to fast? Is it realistic? Do you lot want to see major fluff in chapter 6? Or do they need more time?_

_Please Review! _


	6. Depths Of Despair

**Revised – 28****th**** July 2009 **

Chapter 6

Even though she had only been gone one week, Hermione had missed her home at Hogwarts Castle. She felt as if she belonged there now. Yes, she loved it being home with her mum and dad but they were muggles and so were the rest of her family. She had no prejudices against them, but they didn't get what had happened in her world at the end of her last year at Hogwarts. He was back. And she had to admit that scared her. More than anything she wanted to be with people who understood that.

When she had got the letter from Harry, of course, she had jumped at the chance to be with him there again (even if her parents were not so keen on the idea. She was their only child, after all, and they missed her when she was gone). But normally it was at the Burrow they met up. Not at Hogwarts. One thing was for sure. With it only being the two of them there and Harry's request that she did not tell Ron, there was something was going on with him. But then again, when was life ever simple for The Boy Who Lived?

The frizzy haired girl smiled as she hit the last bend in the train track. She had come on one of the trains that used the track from Platform Nine and Three Quarters at Kings Cross. It wasn't only there for the Hogwarts Express of course. Many trains ran from Hogsmeade for wizards who were unable to apprate, and were less inclined to use floo powder when possible.

As the train came to a stop she was thrilled to see Harry was there on the Platform, waiting for her.

Taking hold of the bag that she had brought with her on her own shoulder, she run out to be greet by a very different boy than the one she had left three weeks ago.

He was thinner than he had been when they had split up for the summer, not that he had ever been fat. Her face fell as she saw how pale and ill he looked. And the worse thing was, this was clearly the best he had been in a while.

"What did those bastards do to you?" she whispered.

Putting her bag down as she got to his side she ran in to his arms, and held him tight, their friendship as strong as ever, and renewed after their time apart.

As she hugged him she was shocked to feel his body begin to shake and she knew he was crying silently in to her.

"Oh Harry," she sighed as she held him tight. Her poor, poor friend. Why was it always he who got hurt? Her hand rested on his head and stroked his hair.

"I'm – so sorry."

"Don't you dare! The muggles hurt you, didn't they? I am so sorry I wasn't there." She said as she tried to wipe his tears away. Hell, she wanted to wipe his whole awful childhood away, give him a second chance to grow up in a home where he was loved. With his mother and father. But who could bring back the dead?

Harry appeared ashamed of his tears as he regained his self-control, which he always did. He hardly ever let it show.

"Come here, I'll carry your bag," he said trying to play the gentlemen. He knew Snape was going to kill him, he wasn't meant to be lifting yet and the heavy weight hurt his nearly mended shoulder.

"What happened to you?" she asked taking his arm.

"A lot. But not all of it bad Hermione. I have changed more in this last week than I have in whole my life." He said smiling.

"For the better?" she quizzed.

"I don't know yet – Hermione. I have a father. Not only that, I've probably got the weirdest family of anyone at Hogwarts. But since when is anything related to me normal?" He explained.

"But how can that be, once some ones dead-"

"I know, then there dead for good but – but suppose for a moment that my real father biological wasn't James Potter, and we have both only just found out about each other..."

"It'd be - so unlikely." She sighed.

"It was. But it is. And I have a father Hermione. A father - dad, who cares about what happens to me…or at least I think he does…"

"Harry that's amazing," she said but she heard a lot of doubt in his voice. Something was definitely weird about his father, and he was reserved about giving her names, it seemed. "But who? Who is it?" she asked. He seemed reluctant to say.

"I - he's different to how he is in class when he is with me," he told her. She was confused. He took a deep breath, "Snape, Hermione. My father is Severus Snape."

She seemed overwhelmed for a minute. She didn't believe it. How could someone as cruel as Snape have sired someone like Harry, kind, considerate, reserved Harry?

"Well how! When did this all happen-"

"Oh, with my mum and dad fifteen years ago. You see Hermione, when there is a man and a woman and they love each other very much-"

"Thank you, Harry, but I have already had my sex education! Good to see you have retained a sense of humour - But – when did all this come out?" She asked.

"About a week ago when he picked me up from the Dursleys." he told her.

"And why did he come to you? Harry you can trust me and tell me anything you know you can. What in Merlin's name did they do to you? Why did you need saving?"

"All in good time Hermione. Let's go down to the apartments and get comfortable then I can spill all to you." He said with a slight smirk. "Still it makes a nice change being saved, instead of doing the saving."

"I bet." She said dryly.

By the time her friend had got through his sorry tale Hermione herself was nearly in tears.

How could anyone hurt Harry like that?

"Barst-" she said in shock but broke off short when Harry interrupted her.

"I know. But don't worry over it. I'm safe now. I'm with you – and I'm here, and I've got a- Severus," he told her gently rubbing her arm offering her comfort, assuring her he was going to be fine.

"There's a sentence I never thought I was going to hear you say." She teased.

"I know. I never thought I was going to either. I never wanted to say it. But – things are changed for the better now. Things are going to be fine, I think. You'll see."

"And does that count for our, yours mine and Ron's, friendship? I can see why you weren't too keen on telling him."

"I don't know how he is going to take the news but we can get 'round him." Harry said. "Somehow."

"I'm sure. It's going to take time, but he'll come round. He always does." She pointed out smiling at him.

Sitting there together Harry realized he was not the only own who had changed physically. Or maybe she hadn't. Maybe he was just seeing her in a new light. She had always supported him but her words today meant the world.

"Thank you, Hermione."

"What for?" She asked.

"This…I mean school must be the last place you want to be on summer holiday." He said.

"Harry, are you forgetting something?" she asked.

"What?"

"I am Hermione Granger and I'll have the run of the library all to myself. Plus I can get some more knitting done over the summer." She said and he nodded.

She was strange, wonderful, but very strange.

With Hermione's return in to his life Harry felt a lot more at ease but there was something bugging him.

Why was his dad taking the sleeping drought potion away?

He felt like it was too soon and that he needed it to get by still. How was he meant to get peace without it?

Going down in to the laboratory as Hermione got settled in to her room he went in search of his father whom he found easily.

Snape was working away in the private lab. He had found his father spent a fair bit of time there.

It was a very big room Harry noted, easily as big as his potions class room and his father had a lot going on in here, many cauldrons were filled with strange looking concoctions. Each one of them had their own smell, some sweet, some bitter, while the herbs smelt of things Harry couldn't find words to describe.

"What is it?" his father snapped as soon as he saw him.

Harry was caught off guard by this. The two of them had been getting on so well and until that moment his father had always tried to be gentle and caring towards hum. He hadn't been so rough since he had come to live with him.

But Snape had so much to do and the idea of Harry having a friend was so that he did not always need him.

Harry said nothing for shook. It felt like he had done something wrong and it was said in the fashion that his uncle had used to speak to him in. It scared him beyond belief...

"I was just wondering if we could talk." Said Harry to him.

"Harry I am working can't you see that? Later, now go away." Said Snape.

As he said the words he knew he was being cruel and that the boy had problem only come over a trivial matter but he had came down there seeking refuge from the changes in his life.

He didn't need his child following him all day long.

Harry turned in shook and said nothing to oppose his fathers' orders. He had been so fazed by it all; he had been unable to respond. So now his dad didn't seem to want him either.

The one thing that had been constant in his life since his return had been his dad and it felt now that was gone.

He didn't want to be in the safety of the apartments for the first time since he had come here.

In fact, he just didn't want to be there. In that moment, he hated Hogwarts. Hell, he didn't even want to be alive.

Running into the kitchen, he did the one thing his father had been trying to prevent him from - falling deeper into the desperate depression that took him in dreams.

Taking a knife from the kitchen draw, he walked through the living room as quietly as a mouse, before leaving the apartments.

-  
When Hermione emerged she found Harry was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he had gone to Snape for a bit, thought Hermione. She had not seen the dreaded Potions Master yet today, but from what she had wrangled out of her friend they were getting along.

Settling down on the sofa, she opened her book she was reading, 'Sense and Sensibility'. Five minutes to herself were most welcome.

But when half an hour had passed and there was still no sight of Harry, she begun to worry.

Outside of the apartments she realized the rain had begun to fall. So far it had been a miserable summer.

But then she saw something by the lake as she looked out of the window. She was so far away that it was barely see able but there was something not right about it.

It wasn't moving for a start.

It was black on the bottom, and blue on top…

And Harry had been wearing black trousers and a blue sweater that day.

"OH MY GOD!" she yelled at the top of her voice as the pieces begun to fit together.

Leaving the apartments in the opposite manor to her best friend she realized she was making a lot of noise, but she didn't care. She had to get to him.

As she run she heard footsteps behind her. Snape had heard her and was following her.

Both Harry's best friend and father drop to their knees by his side as they got to him.

He was shivering in cold from the rain and the knife he had taken from the kitchen was by his side, but he looked like he had taken no action to harm himself yet.

"Harry?" Hermione asked quietly, with tears forming in her eyes whilst his slightly mad and bloodshot eyes darted up.

"I wanted too, but I couldn't," he said to her slowly, his voice monotone, yet sounding less real than it ever had. A tear streaked down his face, that was quickly mixed in with the rain that was falling steadily. "She stopped me."

Her eyes darted up at her friend's father. When she had left him he had been fine. Something had to have happened.

But who was '_she_'?

Harry was clearly too tired and cold to walk, so ill was he all over again, but Snape didn't seem shocked by any of the events that day.

He had been expecting the boy to try something like this ever since he had come home.

"Come Harry," said Snape, his voice much cooler and caring than it had been before. "Let's get you inside."

_Please Review!_


	7. Aftermath

**Revised - 4 August 2009**

Here it is. Sorry it took so long...

**Chapter 7**

Hermione sat on the sofa with tears streaming out her eyes. She honestly thought that had been it. She thought she had lost him.

Together, she and Snape had brought him inside, and she had to watch as his father patched him up. Snape, she was sure, had his heart broken that day. All Hermione had to do was watch the immense care he took in handling his son to know he felt an attachment to him.

Finally, after Snape had been in Harry's room over an hour, he came out to see her in tears…

"It's funny, Miss Granger. The reason we waited to invite you was so you didn't have to see him like that." Snape said with hollow laugh, as he came out and took his place in his armchair by the fire.

"I don't understand." she said desperately to him. "Why would he do something like that? He seemed so normal when I left him and then he just – I don't know." She said as she hugged a pillow to her chest and looked in to the fire. "He has always been such a fighter, since day one."

"Perhaps he has no strength left to fight. People only bend so far Miss Granger, and then they simply break," he said to her, with a world-weary wisdom weighing down his words, "And we have to remember for all his deeds he is, in fact, only human. He isn't superman." He sighed.

"Sometimes he has seemed it." she joked bitterly.

"Well I think those days may have just come to an end. He needs protection 'till he can fight again, and I intend to give him that." Severus was cursing himself. He was a selfish prat and stupid as Longbottom. Why the hell he had spoken to Harry that way he would never know.

"I think that is a good thing sir, it is so sort of comforting to know you are going to be there for him."

After the experience of seeing her dear friend so unwell, she had no regard for hiding her feelings from his father even if she had never wholly trusted him before. It was time for them to unite – to do the right thing for Harry.

"You truly care for my son?" he asked.

"Always sir, straight from the off. That day I walked into the carriage. I think I knew there was something about him…" she trailed off and smiled.

"Well there has always been that." He agreed.

God, what he wouldn't do for a drink! But, damn it, he had promised himself that he wasn't going to! He was understandably agitated.

"What happens now?" she asked worriedly, whisking him away from his thoughts.

"We do the only thing we can. For now, we are just going to have to sit tight until he wakes up. " Severus sighed. "He is going to be ok, Miss Granger, don't worry."

She had always known he was the cold, callous, evil, and unfeeling, but she was shocked but what he did next. He headed back to the bloody lab! He was going to work. His son had just nearly died by his own hands, and he was acting as if nothing had happened. It boiled her blood.

Well she, at least, couldn't pretend that it hadn't.

Once she was sure the Potions Master was out of sight, and was not going to come back she headed in to her best friends room to sit with him. The last thing she wanted to do was for him to wake up alone. He had to know he was cared for.

She didn't know what had gone on that day but she meant to find out.

Taking Harry's hand in her own she kissed it with all the compassion and love that she felt for him.

"Don't you ever do that again." she said to him. "I cannot do without you Harry. I just can't. Not anymore. You're everything to me."

Severus sat in his lab. He knew he should be with his son, but he couldn't be. Tears were streaming from his eyes like rivers. He couldn't be seen like this, it would do nothing for his 'greasy-vampire-bat-of-the-dungeons-without-a-heart' image.

He was such a fool. Why the hell had he snapped? He had known what a fragile state the lad had been in and he had just broke him when he had needed saving. Not scolding.

As much as he knew Harry had it worse, he couldn't help but think of himself and the time he was going through.

He had thought he was going to go and move on… and now this.

He was so close.

And now from beyond the grave his first love had undone all of his plans. Lily knew him too bloody well.

So had Petunia.

They both knew he was selfish to the bone and what he was really sorry about was that he even had slept with Lily that last time at all. The last thing he needed was a child. He had been happy on his own.

And yet now.… everything in his world was going to have to change.

Part of him, was ready and willing and able to start life as a father but the other part of him said this was so wrong for him.

Lily knew he would never be able to make a father, she knew it and yet…. he had to be.

He had a son.

"Hush, Shh…it's ok," soothed Hermione as Harry's eyes opened. They were hazy and steamed over. She was not going to be very clear to him.

"It's me, I'm here, Harry please don't fret," she said as she kept holding his hand.

"Where – where's Sev?" he asked.

"He has had some stuff he had to do. No doubt he is going to be up in a bit. Sleep Harry. You are not to get better without proper rest." This was one of those times when Hermione wished Ron did know, because then his mum would know. Harry needed an influence like Molly. A mother's love would go long way on her friend.

It was then she saw that the door crept opened and Severus came in. She noticed Harry looked tense in his restlessness, but even more so than before.

"Sir, maybe you should give him, some time," advised Hermione a tad meekly, her unwillingness to see Harry upset winning over her instinct to not contradict a professor…ever.

"And maybe you, Miss Granger, should not come between father and son. I'd like you to give me and Harry some time on our own. I need to talk to him." he said to her. Hermione looked at Harry and he nodded tiredly, releasing her hand from his.

"I'll be back in a bit." She promised as she left the room. She was reluctant to go – but neither would she go against what Harry wanted.

"Harry, can I begin by saying how sorry I am that I was so harsh with you. To upset you was not my intention." he said, suddenly finding the hem of his sleeve very interesting as he took the seat which Hermione had vacated.

"You must understand I have been on my own for a very long time. To consider another and their needs is not easy for me, but I will try." Severus promised as he gave his son a concerned glance, but apart from that he had hardly looked at him since he had come in to the room out of guilt.

Harry nodded, and Severus went on.

"I am sure this is a lot harder for you than it is for me but you have to understand that I - I'm very selfish Harry…" that selfishness was what had lost him his Lily. "For years I have had no regard for others, and now I have to regard you in my actions. Please give me time to come round to that idea."

Harry nodded exhaustedly.

"You realize we are going to have to discuss what happened today." He said and again Harry mutely nodded. Merlin, this was getting them nowhere!

"Very well. I think we can leave it till tomorrow. Shall I send Miss Granger in?" he asked, and privately winced at his callous tone. Harry shrugged and shut his eyes. He'd never know if she came back in for if she did, then he was sleeping already.

The morning came too slowly for Hermione's liking. She wanted to see Harry was better. But she knew he was not going to be completely. He had been through so much.

Going into the kitchen she got herself some breakfast and waited for the Potions Master to come into tell her the plan of action for his son.

In Hermione's mind, she didn't know what to do for her own sanity let alone Harry's. It had all been a strain on her too since yesterday. Within five minutes Severus was with her and they were discussing Harry.

"Shall I go give him his breakfast when it's made?" she asked in an attempt to diffuse the tension between father and son before it got out of hand.

"No, I need to talk to him. I think it best we get it over with quickly today. Then I intend to ask him if he wishes to stay here or if there is some where he would rather be." he said to her, his voice dropping on the last, as if he was futilely hoping that she might not hear.

"What do you mean?" she said shocked. Although she had seen this coming, oh yes, she had seen it coming since right after Harry's almost-suicide - when Severus had fled to his lab as soon as Harry was taken care of.

"I mean do you think he would really want to be here right now? If I was him I don't think that I would want to! Merlin knows that he might be more at ease if he was with his godfather or someone he knows better than myself!" he hissed viciously, taking out every bit of his anger and frustration at himself on the fiery Gryffindor.

"You're not giving yourself a chance!" She accused him rather loudly. Oh, dear, she had never shouted at a professor before…No, Professor Snape was no longer simply her dreaded Potions Master, he was now also her best friend's father, and she'd be damned if she let him give Harry the chance to run away!

"No, Miss Granger, I am trying to give us both the best chance." he replied to her curtly. 'Damn infuriating Gryffindor…' he thought hotly, as he got up and got his son some porridge and retrieved some honey from the cupboard to put on the side so Harry could have some if he wished.

When he went in to Harry's room the boy looked ten times better than he had when he had got back to his room yesterday, thank Merlin, but, then again, where there many ways that he could look worse than after what he had been through yesterday?

"Sleep well?" Severus asked.

"Better than I have been," acknowledged Harry.

"Well that is good to know. Porridge?" he offered. Hungrily, Harry nodded.

"You certainly seem in a better mood." He said dryly.

"I got a lot of things sorted yesterday." Harry nodded.

Snape looked at him confused. He had tried to kill himself the night before. How did he work that one out?

"You said you wanted me to talk to you, so let Me." said Harry defensively.

Sitting back in to the chair, Snape nodded, and he let Harry begin to explain what had happened to him.

_Harry blindly ran down the lawn to the lake. _

_He was crying, he was sick of everything and so he had decided this was it. He was just going to end it. It was so much better this way. Better for Snape, Hermione, himself, and everyone else. _

_Raising the knife to his arm, he prepared to cut deep and hard, but then he felt a presence beside him. _

"_Did it mean so little to you?" asked a voice he felt he knew, but was unable to identify. _

"_What?" he asked dumbfounded. _

"_My sacrifice - James's sacrifice." _

_It was her. It was his mother. He turned to face her, as the rain drenched him to the core. _

"_I can't do it." he told her. He couldn't live… _

"_Harry, I wish you would have more faith in yourself. __I know you can live on, and I know you can bond with your father, but you have to try or it is not going to work. The two of you have been on your own for so long, and that is my fault. But it doesn't have to carry on that way now." _

_  
Harry looked at her. What she was saying was right? Well really he knew… But, damn it; he didn't know how to be a son. _

"_I need you here. Why aren't you here?" he asked. _

"_Because I left you so you could be there. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I am glad I did it darling. I know you can cope baby. All this time you have been making me and James so proud of you and we will always love you Harry, and we're always going to be watching over you. Don't fret, Harry. You will never be alone."  
_  
Severus sat stunned - so it had been Lily who had talked him out of it.

"I don't know how or why she came, but I know my mum was there, and she wants me to live. She was right, if I had gone through with that yesterday, then what she did was pointless."

Severus nodded, understanding, "What do you want to happen now?" he asked.

"I want to get better, and then I want to enjoy my summer here." He said.

Severus nodded.

"I'm glad." Severus agreed. That was what he wanted for his son too.

Please review!


	8. A Familiar Face

**Revised – 11****th**** August 2009 **

Chapter 8

Harry knew it was not going to be easy.

Bonding with someone took a lot of time, skill and above all other things, patience. He had learnt that already. He needed patience and he needed time, and space. He needed so much and his father was doing all he could to provide that for him.

In order to prevent what had happened that afternoon by the lake ever happening again, Severus and Harry set down a few ground rules with each other. Together, they decided in the morning they would spend time doing what they wanted and leave the other to their own thing, whilst in the afternoon they would carry on getting to know one another.

In his morning away from his father, Harry took time to be with Hermione. She had been quite understandably upset by what he had almost done to himself.

Hermione didn't know why but it had hurt her so much to think he might do something like that. The anger set in not so long after he was up and about she let him know it.

"You had no right to put me and your dad through that." she said to him. Her eyes stinged.

He nodded. He knew that now.

"Do you even know what it is like to see someone you love dying, god Harry!" she said as she sat on his bed. Having taken to spending there mornings out of the summer rain, his room had become there hang out.

"I didn't mean to I just panicked." He thought of Cedric... but it didn't seem the same.

He had been through it all with his dad - while knew what he had done was wrong and he knew he had upset her when he had tried to pull a knife on himself; it annoyed him that she had brought it back up. It was like that person who had pulled the knife out of the draw had not been him; he had been literally out of his mind with upset.

"Well… why didn't come to me, and what panicked you?" she begged to know.

"Hermione, please. I didn't know what I was doing, I was upset. I am trying to put it all in the past. Why are you bringing it up? Don't you think I have enough going on in my life right now?"

She looked at him in defeat. Of course he did. She just wished she had been there. In a way she felt responsible. She didn't know why. But if she had only been there for him....

"I know… I just want to make it better for you." she said as she sat by his side.

"You're here. That's enough." He said as he took her hand and squeezed it before letting go and blushing.

There was something different about their friendship and they both knew it. In the space of a few days it had changed.

-

Severus was going to Albus. He had to talk to him.

He didn't know what to do for the best. Not now he had the invite. So far since he had got Harry back, he had refused all contact with the 'dark side'. With the men and women he had been calling his friends for years and he had to say that he was beginning to miss them now. They had been his family before he had learned he had a son.

That morning when he had been in the lab he had been working when he had got an owl. It had been an invite to the Malfoy summer ball.

By tradition he went. He had been going long before Narcissa was mistress of the manor and she had been there for well over twenty years now.

Part of him was longing to go. To get away from the children for a bit would be heaven. But on the other side he didn't really want to leave his son in his heart of hearts.

And what would Harry think?

Getting to the headmasters office he opened the gargoyle, went up the spiral stair case and went in to the office.

"I was beginning to wonder where you had been, my boy." Smiled the old man who was sitting at his desk.

"I have been attempting to be a father to my son. He has had a troubled few days as I am sure you have heard but he is on the mend and I come to seek your advice headmaster."

"Then I will be happy to advise you as best I can." He said leaning back with a smile on his face.

"The thing is you see, Dumbledore, I have been invited to go to the Malfoy manor for the summer ball."

"You go every year, so yes I would have thought you would have been waiting for the invite." He said to the man.

"I was professor, but things are a little different to every other year now. My son is the Boy-Who-Just-Keeps-On-Living and I have Hermione staying too. I can't go."  
"And if I could get someone to look after the children... Then would you?" asked Dumbledore.

Snape had thought of that. Of course he had. The answer was he really didn't know. He didn't really want to leave the lad with someone he didn't know or rather someone who didn't know what he had been through lately. But he did want to go. He had to see his godson. Draco had been pushed to one side this holiday.

"I know that Remus Lupin would love to see Harry for a while." He said to him.

No, thought Snape. Absolutely not.

"No. I am not leaving my son with –"

"The man he trusted in his third year who was a true friend and mentor to him." Dumbledore smirked.

Snape how ever frowned. How was the old man still so good at giving him food for thought after all these years?

"I just don't know – I have never trusted him."

"I know you have not but I know he is good for the boy and the important factor here is that Harry will be comfortable to be with him."

Severus sighed. He knew he was beat.

"I'm not happy about this." He said as he sat down.

"Shall I fire call Remus?" he asked.

Snape nodded.

When Harry learnt his father was going to be going out for the night he was actually quite pleased.

Especially when he found out that Remus was going to be coming over for a bit. He was admittedly though a bit peeved, feeling he didn't need a baby sitter any more.

"But where are you going?" asked Harry, as they spent the afternoon together just them as always. Hermione had gone to the library.

"Just to a friends for the evening. Nothing for you to worry about Harry…" he said to him.

But Harry wasn't satisfied and that was clear to his father.

Severus however was unwilling to tell his son that he was going to be with the Malfoy's for the evening. He didn't think the lad would take it too well. He knew that his son felt for Draco as he had James. that was of course potentially problematic.

"If you'd like for that night I can make some sleepless dream for you." Severus offered.

"No, I can go without it now," he said confidently.

Severus was thrilled with the progress that his son was making in truth. He was doing so much better than he had thought he would. He was still not really sure how Lily had got to their son that day but she had had a huge affect on their boy.

Theirs…

It was so strange but now he had had Harry for a couple of weeks he was gritting used to him and thinking of him as his own flesh and blood. And what's more was he didn't mind it that much. Secretly he rather liked it.

Not that he had really showed Harry yet how much.

"I am very proud of you, and how far you've come. You know that don't you." He said to him though his voice wasn't very tender. Harry had got used to this. It was just his dad being his dad, and sometimes words spoken in a cool tone of pride was as good as it got.

"Thank you." he said in return.

Realising there session for the day had come to a natural end Harry got up.

"I think I am going to go for a walk." He said to his father.

"Well ok, but be back by dinner, seven sharp." he said to him and he nodded. He would be.

After everything which had happened to his son Severus hated seeing Harry walk out of the door, for some time he feared that he was never going to walk back through it. But only for a second. Lily had put a stop to it all.

Walking down to the lake where he had seen his mother that day Harry found a bit of peace. He felt as if she was there right then and he knew it was always going to be a place he came for comfort now.

He had everything to live for now. And he knew it. His thoughts turned to Hermione. She had been a wonderful friend to him. Maybe more was going to come. But he doubted he was ever going to be very good at romance. He didn't feel as if it was in him.

He shook her from his thoughts. Whatever was going happen between them was going too. He was powerless where it came to them. And he rather liked it.

-

It was the night of the ball and Harry was actually rather excited about seeing Lupin. He felt as if he and his mentor had been apart too long.

Though he had to admit it he was rather worried about seeing his ex-teacher. What if he treated him differently know that he was not James's son? He was sure whenever he got round to seeing his godfather again, he was going too. Lupin might but it didn't seem as likely as it did with Sirius.

Hermione, who had been sitting with him waiting, smiled at him.

"It is going to be fine - will you stop worrying?" she said to him.

"Is it that clear that I am?" he asked her.

"Absolutely." She replied as they heard a knock on the door.

Hermione could see why he was worried thought. In his eyes, he was no longer James's son and so none of the Marauders would want a thing to do with him.

But she could see things more clearly. It may have begun like that but it was so much more now. Lupin and Sirius knew Harry and loved him for himself. Not who his father was, Hermione was sure.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine." she said as she went to get the door.

In the time in which she was getting it Harry watched as his father entered the room. Something told him Severus was off to a formal occasion. It was definitely the dress robes, he thought to himself.

"You look smart." he said dryly.

"Thank you. I assume Lupin is here." He said to him in response.

"Hermione is just letting him in now." He informed his father.

"Very good." He said to him as he watched the school girl and her old teacher come into the room.

"Harry!" he said excitedly in greeting. He felt as if this had been a long time coming.

Ever since he had heard from Dumbledore what had been going on, he had wanted to come to the boy's side but the professor had felt it was best to let the boy bond with his father.

"Severus." He said, in greeting of the Potions Master formally.

"Remus. There both to be in bed by midnight." He ordered.

"Very well."

It was only eight now.

They had four hours to talk… and they were going to make the most of it.


	9. Another Reunion

**Revised – 19****th**** August 2009 **

Chapter 9

It wasn't long before Remus felt completely at home in the flat which Harry shared with his dad. Harry had changed a lot in the past year for obvious reasons and that change could be seen in every aspect of him. It was physical and it was mental.

He found that mentally that now he was far too mature for his age. Instead of being the lad who the werewolf knew did things on impulse, Remus found him to be a lot more thoughtful than he had been when he had been in the third year of his studies. He talked to both the young Gryffindor's before him and when he was talking Hermione he watched Harry's eyes follow her just as he had seen James's follow Lily's. Harry was certainly developing a crush on the girl.

Remus could certainly understand why though; here was the girl he had known ever since he had come to Hogwarts and on ever occasion that had arisen she had proved her unswerving loyalty to him. Remus thought for Harry that must seem a very attractive virtue in a girl right now. To have some one he knew and trusted was probably all he desired. She was familiar. She was supportive, as well as good company, rather pretty and intelligent. What wasn't there for him too like?

She in turn he saw often stole a glace in the direction of her best friend and blushed a flaming colour of scarlet. Yes, something was going to happen there he thought to himself. Both of them were growing up. Harry was sixteen. To fall in love at that age had to be the most natural thing in the world.

Over all, he thought Severus seemed to be doing a good job. He had been worried for Harry when he had heard everything but those fears for him, or many of them were laid to rest that day...

There was only one nagging on at him.

"Where is Ron? I thought you two would have wanted him with you at a time like this." He remembered being in the staff room, with all the other teachers discussing the progress of the 'golden trio' as they were so called. The 'golden twosome' didn't quite work.

"We haven't told him every yet." said Hermione to him.

This shocked and worried the aging Marauder even more.

"I thought he may have been the first person after Hermione that you would call, Harry." He said as he drained the last of his tea.

"Well, I would have but you know what he is like about Sna – my father." He sighed deeply. "I wanted to get to know him on my own before anyone else tried to influence my decision over him. I knew Hermione wouldn't try but I also know that Ron would have."

"And now?"

"And now what?"

"Have you made your own judgement on your father?" he asked.

"I think I have. I don't think I am ever going to really know him. I don't think he is ever going to let me in to his head and tell me much more than he has already. But I do know he wants to protect me is some weird way. Maybe is because my mum is who she was…"

Remus nodded. He thought that very likely. Snape's paternal affection was going to be rough, but it was going to be there none the less.

"Then I think the two of you should start thinking about asking him to come up, or think about going to him if you want my advice." He said to them. Without a doubt, he was feeling closed out to them right now.

Harry nodded. He guessed he did have a point about Ron. He and Hermione had been so caught up in their own thoughts and feelings that they had not really given a second thought to his.

"Yeah, maybe." He said in agreement.

Hermione nodded too. It was time.

"Tomorrow, let's write. Tell him to come here or ask to go to him. We have to tell him everything. We have to get it over with and sorted before school starts back up." She said to Harry. "We owe him that much."

He had to admit though he wasn't sure if he wanted to though. Ever since he had got his mind back and he had begun bonding with the man he was going to someday call dad, he had fallen in to a somewhat idyllic life with him. More idyllic that he had ever known before in his life.

-

Draco smiled as he saw his god father for the first time in what felt months; though it had only been a few weeks, he was thrilled to see him. He had always been close to Severus and he had told him everything since he had been a very young boy, knowing he would always be there for him and so when he had gone cold on him over the past few weeks, inside he had been feeling most distressed.

"What has kept you away so long?" he asked as the two walked in the gardens. "Did He send you on a mission?"

"No." he said unable to lie to the boy. "I have had personal things I have had to tend too."

Draco found this most very odd indeed. He had always known his god father to be a private man but he had no personal life, well not that he knew of. No family, no friends apart from Draco's father to the best of the boy's knowledge. But there was a lot he didn't know about him. He was beginning to realize that.

"What does it matter how?" asked Severus.

Draco shrugged. He guessed so. Severus was there now. "So what is it that you have needed to talk to me so desperately about?"

"Father. He has been talking to me a lot more this summer than he has ever before, Uncle. He has asked that I follow in his footsteps. He wants me to join the Dark Lord."

To Severus that was no great surprise. He had always known that was his friend intentions when the time came, but now he could no longer see the reasoning for it so well. The fact was now he has a son of his own, he couldn't understand Lucius choice. If he was Lucius, he would tell Draco to run for the hills where the Dark Lord was concerned.

And if Harry, ever god forbid tried to join them (not that that was ever going to worry about with his son being the Boy-Who-Lived) he'd – well he didn't know what he'd do to him but it wouldn't be nice.

"I am aware of this." He said. "Your point being..."

"I want your opinion on the whole thing uncle. What do I do?" he asked.

Severus sighed. Before that summer he knew what he would have said.

_You go along with it, you do your fathers will._

But it wasn't that simple for him to tell the young man that any more. He knew he would murder anyone who gave Harry such ill advice.

"Follow your instincts Draco. This is a huge choice and I can't tell you what to do this time. It has come from you." He explained to the lad gently.

"But that if I make the choice uncle and end up regretting it forever. Can't you give more solid advice than that!" he begged.

"No Draco. I'm sorry. I can't."

Severus had never felt so much guilt or shame. He knew in his heart of hearts he should be telling him to get away from them, but for his own safety he had to appear to be on His side. It felt as if he had just sent his god son to the Lion's Den knowing the monster hadn't been feed for weeks.

Draco sighed heavily. He had been sure that if he went to him, then his uncle would have told him has path. But he hadn't.

Accepting what his elder had said to him, Draco left his side and went to the ball room floor where Severus saw him take Miss Parkinson in his arms and dance with her gently. The two could be thoroughly unpleasant but there was no question of them not loving each other in their own fashion. She was going to make a good Mrs Malfoy one day.

Just the way Lily may have made a good Mrs Snape.

He missed her awfully. He thought he had been moving on till her – their son had come back in to his life. Harry hadn't been what he had needed, but he was what he had and now he had a duty to the lad to keep him safe.

He had buried the women he had loved. He wasn't going to bury their boy.

-

Severus looked at his son. It was the next morning and Harry had requested to invite Ron up to Hogwarts to spend the rest of the summer amongst there company.

"Either that or can Hermione and I go to the Weasley's." he asked.

Severus sighed. They were at Order Head Quarters. It _might _be good for him to go there.

"I shall talk to professor Dumbledore about you going." He said to him.

"You don't mind?" he asked.

"Not at all Harry, we both had our own lives before we found out the truth and neither of us have the right to stop the other carrying on that life or part of it if we wish." He said to him. "If you want to go, then I have told you already you can."

"Thank you." He said to him.

Severus sighed. Another trip to Dumbledore then...

When he got to the man he had just sat down to have a tea.

"Would you like one my boy?" he asked.

"No,thank you." He replied politely. "My son wishes to stay with the Weasley's for the rest of the holidays." He said to the aging wizard.

"Well, he probably misses his friends. I can make plans for him and Miss Granger to go to number twelve." He said to him.

"Very well." Severus nodded. "He'd be safe there?"

"Absolutely. When would he want to go?" the head master inquired.

"As soon as they can I think. Maybe tomorrow. They don't have all that long left till they return to school and they have the task of explaining Harry's true heritage to Mr Weasley." He told his mentor. If they ever had a difficult task, that was it. He had ever felt that Ronald Weasley was the member of the so called golden trio who had the biggest dislike for him. He just hoped that the fact he was Harry's father didn't have an impact on his friendship with mim.

-

After he returned from the head masters office the next day, Severus sat then two teenagers down and explained to them both what was going to happen, about them going to number twelve. He also told them both just what the Order of the Phoenix was. That school year, he felt it was going to play a huge part in Harry's life. Also he rather his boy got the facts from him rather than the Weasley siblings.

Harry had Severus said a causal good bye the next day. They were only going to be apart for two weeks and Harry felt it was a good idea to have a bit of time apart as did his father. They needed it after everything that had gone on that summer.

That didn't mean the two of them wouldn't miss one another though.

Both had found that the others company when they were not fighting was valuable and even at times enjoyable. Severus assured his son he would visit when he was at headquarters. They'd see one another again soon.

By three that day they were there, and Harry, even though the good bye he had said to his dad had been one of good nature, found it odd how much of a pull he found now he was away from Severus. This he realised for the first time was how a child felt being far from its parent.

Shaking the thoughts out his head he went in to the kitchen where he was met by Ron.

The two grinned at each other.

"You alright mate?" Ron asked kindly. Clearly he had been told a degree of what had happened to him that summer already, he had a knowing look in his eye. How much though?

"Yeah. You?"

"Not too bad." he nodded. He had been worried when he had not written to him, as well as annoyed but when he had been told of the state he had been he had accepted it.

It was then that the twins and Ginny walked in to the room all with concern for him in their voices, but as ever they didn't smoother him.

Well, none except Molly when she entered, whose hugs he actually gratefully excepted, even if he did feel as if he was being a bit of a traitor to Lily. Especially after he had seen her that day at the lake.

He was her son and if he_ had_ ever wished Molly was his mum (which at times in heart of hearts he had) he no longer did. His mum had been the best and for what time he did have her, he was grateful for even for, it if he didn't remember it. He now had one memory and he was going to treasure it.

As he pulled away he saw Sirius come in.

Despite everything he had learnt about the boy and his parentage, as soon as he saw Harry he knew nothing had changed. He had always since he had been out of prison seen him as his responsibility and he always would. James had loved him and so would he. He wasn't abandoning him.

Going over to the boy he embraced him fiercely. In that moment he felt a sigh of relief come from Harry. He had obviously been worried. When he pulled back, he found the boy tearing up. He had been through a lot.

"So you want to go talk some place?" he asked. Harry nodded and Sirius led the way.

Please Review!


	10. Number 12

**Revised - 12 September 2009**

Chapter 10

Sirius took Harry to his room. Sirius' room, just like many others, in the house seemed dark and dank. Yet despite that, it was somewhere in the house he would be sure they would not be disturbed by anyone but an old four legged friend.

"Buckbeak!" said Harry as he saw the hippogriff. It was a nice surprise for Harry to see him there, and went slowly and respectfully to the bed where he was lying to stroke him, remembering to wait till the animal bowed back to touch him.

"He has been a most loyal friend to me since we have been on the run. Now that I am in hiding here, so is he," said the elder Gryffindor. The animal and man were bonded by the common experiences they had had; namely being accused for crimes that were not their fault.

"I know it was tough on you two last years. You must be glad of the rest, to have settled somewhere."

"I guess so. I just wish it didn't have to be here. I don't know if anyone has told you yet this is where I grew up and it doesn't have the happiest of memories for me, I am afraid," he told Harry sadly. He would rather be anywhere but his childhood home in reality. "But today isn't about me... How are you?" he asked his god son.

He was always going to be that to him. James's boy or Severus's. They had been through too much together for him to turn his back on him now. After all he owed Harry his freedom. Some bonds would never break. Blood had never mattered to him.

"I don't know. This summer has been so confusing. I don't even know where to start to tell you about It." he did want to though. He had always been able to confide in Sirius. He wanted to again. Sirius was one of the people he trusted with his life. If he was with him, nothing bad would happen. He didn't feel that way about his father yet.

"I find the beginning is normally a good place."

So that was where he did begin. Harry went through everything that he could remember.

In his account to his god father, he began his story from as soon as he had got back to Little Winging, his abuse at his uncles hands, his aunt's strange behaviour and the revelation that came after. He then told him of the days at the hospital and the knife, which was where his god father stopped him, horror written all over him.

"Has it been discovered how you came by the knife?" He asked him, his face a sea of worry. If only he could get his hands on Dursley. Throughout the story he had been edging closer to Harry as if he was desperate to comfort him. Hadn't Harry been through enough already, with the Tri – wizard tournament? When was he ever going to get a break? It was unfair – but that was surely now the way of the world. Life was unfair.

"Not yet." he shook his head, uncomfortable, not wanting to dwell on it.

"Alright well we are going to have to figure that out. Go on." He said as he sat by Harry.

He told him next of the talk he had had with his father, the day Hermione arrived, the vision at the lake, the time he had spent with his father since that day, the meeting Remus and lastly he even hinted about his new found feelings for Hermione.

"Well, like father, like son, falling for the feisty, smart Gryffindor," he told him.

"Yeah I guess so. I hadn't really thought of it like that." Harry blushed. He put his hands in his pockets and nodded. He guessed it was true.

"Well, that is what it sounds like to me."

Now that he thought of it, it sounded like that to Harry too and he nodded. He was falling for her hard.

"So considering everything, you are ok otherwise?" checked Sirius. But how on earth could he be?

"I think so," Harry nodded.

"I am glad." He said to him. "I was so scared for you when I heard what had gone on. I felt like I wanted to kill your uncle. I still do." He said to him.

"I think Severus I did too." He muttered solemnly.

"Has anything been done?" He asked.

"What to Vernon?" he asked.

"To who else?" he muttered as if it was obvious. There was no malice towards harry in his voice though.

"Well, I don't know, I don't think so." Said Harry, not really wanting to discuss his uncle. He never wanted to hear his name again.

"Well, maybe we should think of it." said Sirius but Harry shook his head in protest.

"I'm out of there. Dad has said I never have to go back there and I believe him, I want to leave it there now." He said to him.

"But what he did to you was inhuman. He can't get away with it!" he said passionately. "You're my god son… I wasn't there... I am so sorry." he said to him.

Harry quickly realized that Sirius felt guilty for what had happened, much the way he guessed his father had. But neither was to blame.

"It wasn't your fault. No one knew. This is not your fault." But he soon found himself wrapped in the elder Gryffindor's passionate and protective embrace for which he knew he was always going to be grateful for.

---

Hermione and Ginny went down to the boy's room. Though Ginny wasn't as close as the other three were, she was still a good friend to them all and Ron's sister. Going into the room, she saw both Ron and Harry lying down on their beds looking tired. Especially the latter.

"Maybe we should go back to our own room, hey boys?" she said to them.

"Nah," said Ron. "You're alright."

Going in Ginny sat on her brother's bed and Hermione sat on Harry's, the two of them sharing a knowing smile.

During everything he had been through she had been there for him and he knew she was there for him, no matter what. There bond was now unbreakable with any luck.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, you?" Harry returned.

"So are you two going to tell us what has been going on?" asked Ron.

"What?" asked Hermione a little too quickly?

"I mean with Snape," he said seemingly having missed the real reason behind Hermione's reaction, though from the look on her face Ginny hadn't.

"Oh yeah."

And so for the second time that day Harry went through everything he had been through, though it helped having Hermione there as she could chip in. she remembered details he found he was unable to recall.

"I wish you two had called me sooner," said Ron.

"I know. I am sorry mate," said Harry, agreeing.

"No worries," he said, not as bitterly as Harry expected him too.

He had to say ever since he had got there he had been waiting for him to get mad at him or treat him differently or something - but he hadn't. Harry had got it so wrong. He should have put his faith in Ron and he was unable to remember why he had not. Though, he knew his judgement had been a little out of late.

It was then that there was a knock on the door. The twins poked their heads round the door.

"That's rare, you two walking anywhere these days," Ginny said to them before turning to the new arrivals and explaining. "They just passed there Apparation test," she rolled her eyes.

"Nice one," said Harry to them.

He knew the reason why they had not just popped in to the room, it was in their eyes. They had thought he might be, well, upset.

"So," they said. "What do you make of this place?"

"Not really sure yet, I have not had the chance to look about." He said to them honestly. He had been in his room or with Sirius for most of the day."Though Sirius said to be careful when I look about and what I touch."

"And for that there is good reason." Fred assured him. Harry let out a small laugh and began to rather look forward to looking about wondering what they were going to uncover. There were bound to be a few secrets round the place.

"Can we go down stairs; I want to get some food," said Ron.

"Afraid not, an Order meeting is going on," revealed George.

"Da- Snape's here?" asked Harry.

"Most likely, he has come to all of the others."

Harry smiled weakly. He didn't like to admit it but in that moment when he knew his father, who had so far not been such a git as he had been expecting him to be was close by him, he felt a strange sense of security in his heart. It felt good to know he was near. His father was close…

For about the next hour the six of them sat talking. Harry's dreadful past two months were ignored, which he was grateful for, and instead they spoke of everything the others had been doing and brought him up to date with all the news. He felt a bit angry that it had all been kept from him but at the end of the day, he decided he had had enough to worry about.

-

At the end of the Order meeting Snape hung around until the children came down. He knew he should go. Harry wanted to be with his friends but he felt it was rude to just go without seeing him. The man was, after all, his father.

A small smile was the offering he gave to Harry when he came in to the room and he looked relieved to see him and as the tea and the butterbeers were passed out Harry found his way to his father's side.

"How are you?" checked Severus. He had only been gone- well, not even a day yet.

"Not too bad." he smiled.

"And you're not finding it too much?"

"Not at all." He said honestly.

"Very well then. I should leave you too your friends, I have some things I need to be doing back at the school. I'll drop by next week." He said to him and Harry nodded.

"Alright."

"I'll see you soon." And with that Severus left the room, wishing that he did not have too.

An: Thank you to my beta, Thorsten P. Ziegler!

Please review!!!!!!!!


	11. Peace

**Revised – 13 September 2009**

Chapter 11

Now that he had been reunited with his friends Harry's days seem to go a lot quicker. He was glad to be back with them – gladder than he could say. True there was less to do options wise than there had been at Hogwarts but he was over all pleased he had made the decision to come. It was easier to be with those who knew him well as oppose to someone who had to get to know the real him. He hadn't realised how much he enjoyed comfortable company till he had returned.

For the life of him though, he felt foolish for not trusting Ron. He should have. They had over the years been through so much together. They were best friends. The very best of friends. He had been wrong to shut him out. He knew he was never going to make the same mistake twice, especially that one. Sirius was a huge comfort as well. The two of them often sat down for chats in the afternoon, after everything that had gone on. They had to talk it through. Harry didn't want it hanging over him like a black cloud and he didn't want it to fester and embitter him. By talking it through he found he was able to realise the pain. And he was able to talk to his godfather in a way he was unable to talk to any other.

As for Severus, he often popped in to check on his son every other day. He cared – in his own fashion.

Mrs Weasley often offered him tea every day he had come over but he declined wishing only to see his son. Severus and Sirius were fighting worse than ever. Sirius did not wish to believe Lily had betrayed James in such a way. He thought back to the girl he had known. She had been kind and loyal. He hadn't thought she was the type to betray her husband. Yet she had, her child was living proof of that fact. And he was going to have to come to terms with that.

Also Severus still disliked his son's friends, the only one he could stand being Hermione. His tolerance for her was only down to the way she had been so supportive of them over the summer. She, it seemed, earned his admiration at long last. He could not look at her as just a mudblood and a know it all any longer.

On the last Friday until term begun Severus came not for an Order meeting but a rather serious talk with his son over what was going to happen when he returned to school. Were they going to tell everyone? One thing was for sure. They had to get their story straight. If there was going to be one.

"Well I don't know I just - I dunno. What do you think?" Harry shrugged. He had of course given it thought, but he had been unable to come up with a solid conclusion on what the right thing to do would were so complicated – for the both of them.

"I think for now it is for the best if we did not divulge our secret to the rest of the school. For you to remain a Potter."

Harry had to say he that was fine with him. He did not wish to give his fellow class mates another reason to stare at him. For once, it would be nice to have a break from the staring. He didn't think for a moment he was going to get that. But he would get more peace as a Potter than a Snape. And he had always been Harry Potter, even before he knew that name had significance to wizards everywhere. So Harry Potter he would remain.

"But there are going to be changes. You can come to my - our quarters whenever you wish," Harry was glad. This meant he was still going to have time to bond with him. And do so in private. He wanted to see him.

"So to the face of the school nothing changes."

"No." Severus replied. "Only behind closed doors do things change."

Harry smiled. Class was going to be fun.

"That's for the best." he agreed.

"I am glad you think so. Now how do you feel, I trust you are being well looked after?" He knew he would be, surrounding by the Order, but he had to check. It was the responsible, parental thing to do.

"Of course he is," growled Sirius from the door having heard their voices from the landing.

"Good," sneered his father at his old enemy.

"Please don't fight." pleaded Harry. He didn't want them at one another's throats. They were both important to him now. He needed them both on the same side. His side.

"As if we would," was his father's response to him. Severus' voice dripped sarcasm. "You will be ok getting the train back?" Snape checked, sensing it was time for him to go. He did not want to give his son special treatment but if he would rather return to school earlier by other means to have time in their room he would allow it, he thought. Just this once.

"No, I am going to be ok to get on the train with Ron and Hermione." he said to him. He wanted to stay with his friends. They kept some degree of normality in his life. For that, he was sure to be eternally grateful.

"Very well then l shall see you on your return to school."

"Are you going to come by again before school restarts?" he asked.

He realized he was asking with hope in his voice. But Severus' face remained quite controlled.

"I doubt it; I have much to do back at school, work and preparations. I shall see you on your return."

"Oh, ok." said Harry.

He should have known that was going to be his reaction. After all he had spent much of the time he would have been working with him over summer. He had lessons to plan and other things to do. Harry understood. He did.

Harry looked at his godfather and could not decide whether or not that answer had Sirius or not. Snape had made himself look bad in Blacks eyes and yet he had pained his son. He hadn't meant too, but there was more to his life than being a father. He was too elfish for his life to revolve about the boy...yet.

"Then I shall see you next week."

"Yes."

It was a strange sensation of longing to be held at that moment that Harry felt. If he had been told a year ago he wanted Snape to hold him, then he would have thought the person telling him was nuts but he did. He felt vulnerable.

Sirius protectively came and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well then bye Snape!" he said to the man he loathed. He didn't have long left with Harry and he wanted him to himself.

Severus nodded. Giving his son a wink, he walked from the room, fighting his own need to hold him.

"You ok mate?" asked Sirius as soon as he was gone.

"Yeah. I just can't get used to all of this. It is so weird." Harry said to him.

There was so much going on in his head.

"I think that is to be expected."

Looking at one another, Harry knew they were _both_ still trying to make sense of it all. He was glad his godfather had decided to stand by him. If he had left him then he didn't know what he would have done. There was still a chance he might lose Ron if he and Hermione…

"Why can't life be simple?"

"I don't know. It isn't fair that one so young ad you should have had to suffer so much. If I could stop it, you know I would don't you?" he checked.

Harry nodded.

Turning Harry about in his arms he embraced the boy, kissing his forehead, curing the lads need for affection momentarily. For a second, he wished he still thought he was James's. That way he was still the boy he had met two years earlier. He didn't look so like his lost best friend now. More like his enemy. His hair was longer and his skin paler. And yet he still had his green eyes. Lily's eyes. The whore, he thought to himself, shaking his head. He didn't know if he could forgive her. that was a battle he yet had to face.

"I know you would. But you can't." he said as he pulled back

Sirius nodded. He had known it was a pointless thing to say. But it had been the truth. At least Harry knew how he felt about him.

"DINNER, COME ON DOWN TO THE KITCHEN!"

"I think Molly is done cooking."

Smiling Harry laughed. Apparently so.

The two of them went down stairs. What ever happened in the future, for that night they were safe. That was a good feeling.

-

Hermione and Ron had been chosen to be prefects. Harry had not. After all he had done for the schoo,l he had not been seen as worthy to be perfect. This got to him.

He wasn't going to let it show though. And besides, he probably had enough on his plate.

The few remaining days flew by and before he knew it Harry was packing to go back. He was sad to leave Sirius but was looking forward to his father, even if he couldn't really show it in front of the school. His was a life of swings and roundabouts.

"Do you think he is going to lay off the Gryffindor's in class now?" Ron asked Harry as they packed up.

He hadn't really thought about it.

"No."

If anything he was probably going to harder on them to carry on like 'normal'. He was going to want to keep the show up Harry assumed.

What was that anymore? 'Normal.'

Hermione and Ginny popped there head about the door and said good night.

"We'll see you in the morning," said Ginny as she walked off to their room.

Hermione came in for a minute.

"So are you two ready?"

"Yes mum." teased Ron.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Harry. "You ready?"

"Again, yes mum." he said.

They caught one another eyes for a minute before she turned and walked out the door. She had been a rock for him that summer. And she meant more to him than she ever had before.

When Harry got in to bed that evening his head was full of unusually peaceful dreams. For that night at least he was going to have some rest. And by the next night he was going to be home at Hogwarts. What could be sweeter?


	12. Term Begins

**Update – 14****th**** September 2009 **

Chapter 12

It was the small things to Harry that confirmed that his life as he had known it before was over. Like Ron and Hermione, being prefects didn't sit with him on the way to Hogwarts. Not all the way any way. He begun to wish he had taken his father up on his offer. Previously whenever they had been on their way up to the school it had been their time talk about the summer and what they had done, the suspicions they had already had about something strange going on or generally time to confide in one another.

But that year was different.

He sat for the most of the way with Neville and Ginny. He wondered what Neville would make of the summers revelations if he knew what had gone on. To think that the boy sitting right in front of him was the son of the man who scared him most in the world.

Snape had always been horrible to him. Harry wanted that to stop. But he didn't think he would just for him.

Not yet. But he would have to try – for his friend.

He was overcome with the desire to tell Neville what had gone on. But he and his father had decided to say nothing. He didn't want to upset him.

Not yet anyway. It was far too early in the day to think about rocking the boat. And yet he felt for the first time Neville might be one of the few who wouldn't freak out when he heard. He didn't know why.

Ginny noted how quiet Harry was on the way. She wondered how he really was coping. He had had a rough summer. And he had changed so much. Not only mentally by physically. He was paler. Maybe he just needed feeding up. That was what her mum had tried to do.

On the other hand, he was beginning to look like his father, and it also proved to her the past was gone.

Everything would change.

And yet she had been silence to secrecy. But surely when they got to school people were going to see the rapid change in him?

When Malfoy came down he didn't even argue with him. Harry just couldn't be bothered too. He had too much on his mind. Malfoy was a pathetic little boy, nothing more, they all knew it. And quite frankly he didn't have the energy. Lessons hadn't even begun yet. They weren't even at school. He knew he was going to be under stress this year.

But at that moment, he was already just ready for bed. He wanted to sleep. He had slept so well the night before. There were no visions. No corridors. No nightmare. Just peaceful sleep. he wanted that again and more of it.

The train took longer to get to Hogsmeade than usual it seemed to him, time has passed so slowly. By the time they had pulled up, he was more than ready to get out of it.

As he got in to the Great Hall he could not help but look straight for Snape to find he was in his seat at the head table.

He was not looking at him.

Harry realised at that moment how hard it was going to be to cover up their relationship. He wanted to try and make contact with him and yet Snape took on notice. Things were as they were, as they had been. He understood why of course he did but that didn't mean he had to like that fact. It made him feel the sickness rejection brought.

Ron and Hermione had rejoined him before they had come up in the carriages (which he had seen were pulled by the strangest horses). The three of they were together with Ginny and Neville and they were ready to face the new term, which he naively hoped would be a peaceful one. He knew it wasn't going to be but he couldn't help but hold to hope at times.

All they had to do now, he thought to himself, was met the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. With Moody gone, they were once again going to have a new professor at that school.

She wasn't hard to pick out from the head table. She sat near the end in a pink sweater. Harry had a feeling he wasn't going to like her on seeing her. As dinner continued his fears were confirmed. It was going to be a long year.

She seemed awful. All that pink and nice baby talk. Bring back Lupin thought Harry to himself. Please keep get Lupin back. Lupin was the best they had ever had. if he was still about they might actually get an education.

Hermione shook her head in despair. It was clear she had the same thing in her head as he did. Ron too. As if Harry didn't have enough to deal with this term.

Not only that, but Voldemort was back.

-

"This was what I needed."

Harry sat down in his father's rooms with the hot coffee in his hands. It was half eleven when his father had sent him the owl telling him to come to him so he could check he was ok. Under the invisibility clock, of course.

It had been expected.

Snape nearly smiled as he sat down with his own mug, holding it between his hands.

"How was the journey back?"

"Alright, I have had worse." he said to him honestly.

He nodded. He had known that he remembered the time when his son had arrived at school in a flying car. God, how much had he missed with the boy. It really was the little things he hadn't been there for. And my god did he regret it. A swell of hatred surged in him for Petunia. Why had she not just come to him when she had known? They had meant to be friends. As she had said to him at the beginning of the summer they had been near enough one another's only friends and she had meant something to him then. The fact she could still make him feel so much emotion proved to him he still cared about her. He was never going to admit that again though.

"Ready to face the school?"

"I think so." he nodded. He had a lot of people about him who cared for him. His godfather. His friends. Severus.

"Good." Severus muttered. "Did you have any bad dreams while you were away?" he wanted to keep on top of things with his son. The thought he was going to have to spend the year checking in on Harry had occurred to him when the boy had been away. The boy was legendary in the staff room for causing chaos. He would rather like that to stop now. From that year on, his son was his responsibility. Even if he could not scold him in public as a father, if he played up he was going to in private.

"No, I was ok." he nodded.

"Good." He said quietly. "I am glad you're back at school." he admitted to Harry. The days when he had been with his godfather had been good to relax but he had found he missed him. A lot.

He had not been unproductive with his time though. He had begun to try and figure out why his son had been plagued with such dreams as he had before he had left for his godfather. How had he got the knife? There was no doubt in that there purpose had to be dark. Even a dunderhead could figure that out. This was where he had had to begin to tolerate the Marauders - or at least one of them. Lupin had been blessed with rare gift that enabled him to sense, mould and use unusual magic in new ways. That was he learned how the Marauders had been able to make the map which he knew his son had in his keeping.

Lupin was coming back to Hogwarts permanently to try and help him. Together they were going to try and free his son from what was bothering him. He had a few ideas to help him guard himself as well. Such as Occlumency. Dumbledore also thought it was a good idea as well. But that could wait for another day.

"Me too." It was going to be good to try and get a bit of direction in his life to lift him out of the last of his depression, which was fading.

And then there was Hermione…

If only they could get Ron's blessings…

"What do you make of the new Defence teacher?"

"I think little of her but I think enough of her to want you to keep out of her eye line." Severus replied.

"Why? Imagine the points she could take off of me?"

"Yet this year, as much as it pains me to say this, I will not see my house prosper at the expense of my son."

He did not think he was ever going to tire of hearing those two words. 'My son'. He had a father and that, he knew, was always going to be enough. When Harry didn't reply Sev shock his head and yawned. They were both tired and the both needed sleep.

"You have, I have no doubt, Harry, a long and rather stressful term ahead of you so I suggest you go and get some sleep. You are going to need all the strength you have."

Harry rose up from where he had been sitting slowly after draining his mug. He felt tired and he was more than willing to get up to the tower and go to sleep.

"Your right. Good night…dad."

Severus nodded. He hadn't been expecting it but it had been a nice night. And Harry probably liked saying it still, even if was odd. It felt right to call him 'dad' at that moment though.

Turning Harry walked out of the room and in to the dungeon corridor. It was so good to be back. And the meeting with his father he thought had gone rather well. The only thing he felt uneasy about was the new defence teacher but he was determined he was not going to let her wreck his first night back at Hogwarts.

He had been about to put the clock back on when he had heard a voice call him. "Harry wait." he heard a voice behind him.

It was Severus. He walked up to him slowly looking at the boy and before Harry could register what had happened his father had kissed his forehead good night.

Harry smiled, thrown back to that day in the summer when he had laid on the sofa locked in his father's embrace. The same feeling of safety and that they were getting somewhere in their relationship came over him.

The kiss had been simply that of a father saying goodnight to his son. A sign of paternal affection.

Harry turned and walked on to the common room with a smile on his face.

Severus waited till his son was out of sight before he turned back in to his rooms, with a smile playing on his lips.

Petunia…maybe he wasn't so angry. She had told him in the end. It was thanks to her he knew and he only hoped she was ok.

Wherever she was…

-

It was getting late but Draco Malfoy was still up in the Slytherin common room. He was the only one, in fact, still up. There he lay in just his pyjama bottoms and a robe. He had a lot on his mind.

The day had been odd for him; there was no other way to describe it, he was sure.

First there had been the incident on the train. He had gone to see Potter. He always liked to have a little welcome back chat with his arch enemy. For Draco it was what got the term moving for him.

But when he had seen him Potter was so unresponsive that for the first time he had to say he found the Boy Who Lived had been rather boring. He had never found him that before.

And then when he had just gone to see his godfather as he so often did do at the end of a Hogwarts day he had seen him kissing Potter on the forehead.

What the hell was going on?

It was as if the world had gone mad.

There was something his godfather was obviously keeping from him and he didn't like it. The man had always been as a second father to him.

Father.

He wondered if he should flu home to Lucius or write back to tell him what he had seen. But no. He wanted to figure this one out by himself.

And then when he _did_ tell his father he was going to be impressed with him, thought Draco. When he knew what was going on.

So it was with a smile on his face that he got up from where he had been resting and headed towards the dorm room.

This term was going to be very interesting indeed.


End file.
